Northern Ireland

BBC NI reporter Richard Morgan reveals pain of losing his veteran journalist father David Morgan to alcoholism

Richard Morgan with his father David and mum Tina
Richard Morgan with his father David and mum Tina Richard Morgan with his father David and mum Tina

THE pain of losing his father to alcohol addiction and the impact it had on his life has been revealed by the son of veteran journalist David Morgan.

In an emotional programme for Radio Ulster, Richard Morgan embarked on a personal journey to explore the effect his late father’s drinking had on him in the hope that by telling his story, it will help "start a conversation about the illness".

David Morgan was a highly respected journalist, beginning his career with the Irish News and subsequently working for BBC NI and UTV. He retired as news editor at Citybeat radio in 2011.

He died in September 2016, aged 56.

Three years on, his son Richard, a BBC NI reporter, has opened up about his father's alcohol battle, revealing that "in my head, my dad chose alcohol over living, over me".

"He loved me and he loved my mum," he said.

"But the thing he loved most of all is the thing that ended up killing him. Dad loved a drink, he was an alcoholic."

In the radio documentary, Under the Influence, Richard describes how his father had "always enjoyed a glass or two when I was growing up, it seemed normal", but "things got worse" after his mother Tina died in 2015 following a cancer battle.

"Dad was devastated, heartbroken," he said.

"There was an emptiness about him, he was there, but he wasn't.

"Every day his drinking seemed to increase, wine, beer, bacardi - his life and mine began to unravel."

Recalling times he would return home from work to find his father had fallen after drinking, he said: "I just kept thinking why are doing this to me again.

"Why are you so hell-bent on doing this when you have so much to live for."

Since his father's death, Richard said he has struggled with feelings of anger towards him.

"I've felt sad that he's gone, but I'm angry at him for going and ashamed of the way he died," he said.

"Some of my family won't talk about his drinking and how it's affected us.

"But this is the truth and our relationship drowned in dad's drinking.

"Our time after mum's death was terrible and I've been left with so many questions - will I always feel this way, can I forgive him for choosing drink over me and are there other people out there like me?"

But he told of how he wants his father to forgive him because "I was so intolerant of him and said things to him about being a bad dad".

"That was one of our last arguments before he died and I never got to resolve that," he said.

"I didn't mean it and I know what he said to me, he didn't mean, but I would just like him to know that.

"He wasn't well, he couldn't help it and I think that is helping me move towards viewing him differently or viewing alcohol differently in a way that I didn't think I would be able to or was ready to."

On a visit to his father's grave at the end of the programme, he tells his dad: "I know you didn't choose to do this to yourself".

"It was illness and that things could have been different, they would," he said.

"I'm happy you are at peace because you obviously weren't when you were living and drinking the way you were

"I wonder have I just now accepted that this is the way things worked out and I am now just at peace that he's at peace."

Stories In Sound - Under The Influence airs on Sunday at 12.30pm on BBC Radio Ulster.