The mother of a Co Down teenager who died after he was swept to sea while playing with friends 15 years ago has warned other parents to teach their children "the dangers of the water" on what would have been her son's 30th birthday.
This week, instead of throwing her only son, Jordan a birthday party, Carrie Murdock instead visited the 15-year-old's grave in Killough to bring flowers and balloons to mark what should have been a special milestone for the young man.
As the summer approaches and children are drawn to the water to cool off, the mother-of-five said it was imperative that parents speak to their children about the dangers of water.
The grandmother, who still lives in Killough, said the heartbreaking loss of her son, despite being 15 years ago, is still "as bad and still as raw".
Her son, Jordan, who was a pupil at St Patrick's Grammar in Downpatrick, had gone out to play with friends on the morning of Sunday, January 11, 2004, when tragedy struck.
The young mother later received a phone call telling her that her son was "in the water".
After making her way to Killough pier, where Jordan and his friends and other children regularly played, she said a crowd had already gathered.
She saw her 15-year-old son in the water, being swept out to sea, while another young friend was attempting to reach him to rescue him.
But, while the friend was pulled to safety from the water, Mrs Murdock said her son "was going further and further out, there was no way to reach him because of the way the pier was".
She said some local people went to fetch boats while the coastguard was also alerted however Jordan kept getting swept out.
"It all happened that quick," she said.
"The beach and pier were black with people. There were people in the water and out of the water but couldn't get to him. The sea was just too rough. There were no life rings on the pier at that stage.
"It was as if it wasn't happening but it was happening.
"When we got down, we could still see him before he went down under the water.
"You could still see his hands up trying his best. The current was too strong and pulled him under".
The following day, Carrie was told the search was now a recovery operation.
Three weeks later, on February 1, 2004, as Carrie was getting ready to go to Mass, she was told her son's remains had been found nearby on Killough beach by a woman walking her dog.
"I knew he wouldn't be himself when they got him," she said.
"We went down to the shore and the doctor was there. I didn't get to see him".
Fifteen years on, Carrie said the pain of losing her son, who loved Gaelic and football, is just as sore as it was, especially marking what would have been his 30th birthday this week.
"I dare say we would have had planned celebrations and doing something for his 30th," she said.
"We went out for a wee meal and just went to the grave with flowers and balloons and cards.
"He was a loveable wee thing, cheeky wee smile. He was a good boy. He was a very kind wee boy. A very bright boy. He was into his sports. He played football and Gaelic and he was very good at both.
"I wonder would he have been married with a family. Would he have had a job? What kind of life would he have had. I might have been a granny to a few of his kids by now".
The 53-year-old, who is originally from the Markets area of Belfast, said the last 15 years had been a "really, really rocky road".
"The first lot of years is just numb and us, as a family, were just all over the place," she said.
"Now, that 15 years has passed, it's still as bad and still as raw. It doesn't get easier, you just learn to cope with it easier. You are still just trying your best for the rest of them. Some days it is just worse than others".
The grandmother said she still regularly visits the pier where Jordan died and where a shrine and a memorable bench have been erected in his memory.
"We would go down quite a lot to be truthful," she said.
"It just brings it all back again, although it does, you still go".
As the summer months approach, the Co Down mother said it is so important that parents talk to their children about staying safe in the water.
"As a boy, him and his friends would have went to the pier in the summer, all the kids did. The children would have been well used to the pier," she said.
"I would ask kids to be wary when they are in the water. Nobody can tell the current. I didn't understand any of that until it happened. We are more wary now.
"This is a small village. The minute the sun comes out, the children are attracted to the pier. Most of the time, from it happened, most parents go with their kids. There's a lot of supervision. Parents know the dangers, it's the child who doesn't realise. My family, all of my family always teach their children the dangers of the water.
"It is just something we never thought would happen".
She added: "Everybody's lives have changed so much. Even though it's 15 years on, everybody still talks about him. The family will never be the same. The gap will never be filled".
