THE mother of a five-year-old boy who drowned in a Co Antrim river has revealed she has never returned to the place where he fell into the water, as the family prepare to mark the first anniversary of his death.
Kayden Fleck was recovered from the Braid River in Ballymena after he and his identical twin brother Jayden went to play on the riverbank near the Ecos Centre on February 10 last year.
The pair had managed to slip away from their parents as they visited their former home in the nearby Ballykeel estate to clean and remove old furnishings.
Ahead of the first anniversary of his death tomorrow, his mother Leanne Fleck (35) said it will be a "tough day".
"Getting through Christmas was hard and getting through Kayden's birthday without him was hard," she said.
"We are thinking of having a family get-together and let off a few wee balloons to remember him.
"My sister was saying we could either go to the graveside at Ballee Cemetery or go to the Ecos Park but I said there was no way I was going to the Ecos Park as I have not been back over there since.
"Everybody says that for me to move on it would be better for me to go the Ecos Park."
She said to go to the riverbank would be a "struggle".
"Every time I pass over a bridge over the River Braid, I get very anxious," she said.
She added: "I get nightmares about what my wee-un must have being going through and I think 'why did it happen' and 'how did it happen'."
Ms Fleck, who also is mum to Daniel (15), Jayden (6) and Amelia (4), welcomed baby girl Ellieanna three months ago.
She said in a year of "ups and down", Ellieanna had brought "light" into their lives.
"Every day is a struggle for me but when I look at my other kids it is them that keep me going," she said.
