THE mother of murdered taxi driver Michael McGoldrick has said she will attend Mass today on the 20th anniversary of his killing to "celebrate his life" and give thanks for the time they had together.
Bridie McGoldrick said until his murder on July 8 1996, at the height of the Drumcree dispute, she had "lived in a bubble" and assumed the Troubles had nothing to do with her family.
"Michael was brought up in Scotland, he was Scottish like myself, and with shame I have to say I didn't take what was going on under my notice, I didn't think it had anything to do with us," she said.
Mr McGoldrick (31) graduated from Queen's University just days before he was shot dead by members of Billy Wright's renegade UVF unit who would go on to form the LVF.
The Lurgan man had been working as a taxi driver while he studied for his degree and planned to become a teacher.
His body was found slumped over the wheel of his car close to Aghalee the morning after picking up a fare in the town.
Loyalist Clifford McKeown was later convicted of the murder.
A court heard it had been a "birthday present" for Wright and came after plans to kidnap three priests from a parochial house in Co Armagh were aborted.
The victim's daughter Emma was seven at the time and his wife Sadie six months pregnant with their son Andrew, who Mrs McGolrick says is the "image of his father".
"Sadie is a great mother, she's done a wonderful job, but the children have missed out on the joy of having their father there for all the important milestones in their lives," she said.
"Michael adored his wife and his wee princess Emma. Seeing him in them brings me such comfort.
"I'm afraid in those early days I didn't feel Sadie's pain because my own pain was just so overwhelming."
Following his murder, Bridie and her husband Michael set up the charity United Christian Aid as a way to help cope with their loss.
Mr McGoldrick snr, who spoke of how he had forgiven the killers, said his son no longer needed him "but there are hundreds of children who do".
He died aged 63 in 2006 while on one of his regular trips bringing aid to the poor in Moldova, collapsing with septicaemia brought on by an abscess.
Bridie continues on with the charity work they started together and says she sees it as "living memorial" to her only son.
"People were always telling my husband not to be hugging people while he was away because of disease but he would say 'what are arms for if not hugging?'.
"He loved working with the poor and he died among them. I asked God for answers at the time but I know now that was how it was meant to be.
"At the time I hadn't a brown penny, and I said to Sadie I'm going to sell my house to bring Michael home so he can be laid to rest with his son. It was only bricks and mortar - bringing him back was much more important.
"But then the bundles and bundles of money just started arriving.
"In the end everything was all paid for, I didn't even have to buy a carton of milk, that's how good people were.
"I have suffered loss but have also been sent many blessings and so I paint a smile on my face every morning and continue on with my charity work, but what I wouldn't give for just one second with my boy, to put my arms around him."
She said the last time she saw her son he said "I love you both" and she said "I love you right back".
"When my husband took ill in Moldova I spoke to him on the phone and he said to me 'I love you' and I said 'I love you right back' - they were our last words.
"I pray to them both every night and say, 'Maybe I'll see you tomorrow'.
"I have my faith and I know one day I'll be re-united with my boys."
