Jeff Brazier has told of how being put to the test during a physically and mentally difficult TV series has taught him to show more vulnerability.
The TV personality is one of 12 stars taking part in Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins in aid of Stand Up To Cancer, with chief instructor Ant Middleton putting them through their paces.
The stars endure a gruelling seven-day course to see if they can pass an SAS selection test.
Brazier said: “I was really desperate to find out ‘what am I all about?’ – what’s under there that I haven’t tapped into for some time?
“I learned all about that. I felt that mentally I was in a good place, but what I found out (about) was how I channelled my energies.
“I was very supportive of the group, but I’d only allow myself to be on the edge of the group, and I do that for whatever reason.
“That’s my coping mechanism for the last 10 years, but what I learned in order to let people support me I need to really show them everything.
“The ugly bits, things I always told myself were negative.”
The 39-year-old said that one challenge, where he had to build an igloo, he did not want to ask for help, despite physically struggling.
He said he then almost cried when he received a cuddle from fellow competitor, Olympic gold medallist Victoria Pendleton.
Brazier, who has two sons Bobby, 15, and Freddie, 14, with the late Jade Goody, reflected on her death, as March 22 marked 10 years since she died of cervical cancer.
He said: “I haven’t necessarily focused on where I’m at; I always focus on the boys first.
“But maybe now it’s going to die down a little bit, I can do that myself.”
He added: “Now I can start thinking ‘actually, now it’s time for me to grab a friend, have a chat about it, let it out.’
“And again, I haven’t really done that for 10 years, to be honest.”
Joining Brazier and cyclist-turned-jockey Pendleton is retired footballer Wayne Bridge, actor Jeremy Irvine, Radio 1 DJ Dev Griffin, TV presenter AJ Odudu and rugby stars Heather Fisher and Ben Foden.
Reality TV star Sam Thompson, from Made In Chelsea and Celebs Go Dating, and Love Island’s Camilla Thurlow will also be put to the test, with blogger and former MP Louise Mensch alongside Loose Women’s Andrea McLean.
Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins starts on Sunday April 7 on Channel 4.
