Cheryl has ‘no desire' to start new relationship after split with Liam Payne
Cheryl has said she has “zero desire” to start a new relationship following her split with Liam Payne.
The couple announced the end of their two-year relationship in July, and the former Girls Aloud singer said she has been consumed by love for their son Bear, who she describes as “the man of my dreams”.
She told The Sunday Times’ Style magazine: “I feel like I’ve had two lives — me before Bear, and me with Bear.
“I’ve always had a shyness and that’s gone. I was always floating around, just not sure of anything, and now I’m certain. I feel like a woman now.”
She added: “When I think back to the early days of new motherhood, I was in such a bubble of love, I actually don’t think I saw anyone else.”
Asked if she thought Payne might have felt excluded by this, she said: “Maybe. Maybe.”
Cheryl said he had wanted to be a father from the age of 16, adding: “So he wanted to settle down and have a family and not do the solo thing.
“Then we encouraged him to do that. And then it didn’t work out.”
Asked if it turned out it wasn’t what he wanted after all, she replied: “You’ll have to ask him that.”
She added that it is possible it was “hard” for him “almost having two lives”.
She continued: “You have to switch your head onto pop star, and then switch it back to daddy.
“You can’t rely on someone to make you happy. In the past, I was looking for someone to fix things.
“But I’ve come to that point in my life where I’m a happy person. I might want somebody else to be in my life, but if they don’t want to be in your life, what are you supposed to do?”
Discussing if Bear sleeps in her bed, she said: “I’m going to get mum-shamed, aren’t I? But yes, he does. Best thing in the world.
“I know I’m making a rod for my own back. I am aware of that. But when he was born, he used to sleep in the crib that you put on your bed, and then he never really left.
“I don’t want to give him insecurities or a feeling like I’m not around. But at the same time I don’t judge anybody that does the crying-out thing.
“Do what works for you, and the rest of you shut the f*** up, because it’s not your business, is it?”
She added: “I read about other people being mum-shamed and I think, get a life, deal with your own kids, why are you interfering in everyone else’s?”
She is so consumed by motherhood she thinks it’s possible she will stay single.
She said: “I do seriously think I might be. I do. I would never ever say never, obviously, but I have zero — I tell you, zero desire to start up a new relationship.”
The singer, who has just released comeback single Love Made Me Do It, also revealed she went into therapy when her son was a few months old after suffering anxiety since she was a teenager.
She said: “It was teenage-related, environment-related anxiety.
“I hated being a teenager. I wouldn’t even go back through my twenties. I’d skip the lot and start at 30.”
Her anxiety vanished when she became pregnant, and she said: “I was so warm inside, and I found it amazing, I guess because I’ve lived on adrenaline and anxiety for so many years.”
Addressing her decision to begin therapy after the birth, she said: “I didn’t want the anxiety to come back. I wanted to stay in that strength. And it really has been helping a lot.”
She said it has taught her that she loves “too easy.”
She added: “I think I tolerate too much. I don’t set clear enough boundaries in the beginning.”