Made In Chelsea star Louise Thompson has said she thinks she was “so pathetic” in her younger years, as she was too eager to please everyone around her.
The reality TV star has also said that working on the programme and dealing with fame at the start gave her anxiety, and that she would fight tears before filming scenes.
Thompson, who joined the E4 series in 2011, told Women’s Health magazine: “I was trying to be strong, but the more I tried to fight it, the more upset I got and (the fear of showing that I was upset) became an anxiety in itself.
“I was anxious ahead of every scene and that caused me to cry. I was teetering on the edge of bursting into tears because I was so nervous.”
The 28-year-old said: “Before, when I was very sociable – partying all the time, eating out, spending all my money – the only happiness I got was from making other people happy.
“That was all that I was doing: drinking and being hungover – I just wanted to be liked and popular.
“I just don’t understand why I was born to be someone who was so bad at saying no, such a pushover, such a people-pleaser, such a sheep.”
She added: “Even back in primary school, I would get asked if I had watched this movie and I would lie and say yes to fit in… I was so pathetic.”
Thompson, who has also appeared on winter sports reality show The Jump, said she has found happiness in fitness along with partner Ryan Libbey, a personal trainer.
“I’ve become a lot more disciplined,” she said, describing Libbey as a “source of inspiration, the way he’s so passionate about training.”
“He trains more often than I do, he goes pretty much every day. Whenever I feel agitated, I look to Ryan and I think, ‘Okay, you don’t (feel agitated) and you’re going to the gym’, and when I leave the gym I don’t have that feeling anymore.”
The August issue of Women’s Health is on sale July 10.
