Have you ever thought about the way you would be portrayed if you were starring in a movie?
Rory Turnbull, an assistant professor of linguistics at the University of Hawaii at Manoa, went viral after explaining that his job would probably be a lot more dramatic if it was shown on film.
He said: “Hello, I’m a professor in a movie, I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading/homework as they leave.”
Hello, I'm a professor in a movie, I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.
— Rory Turnbull (@_roryturnbull) January 1, 2019
His tweet reached over 20,000 retweets, and people of all different professions joined in and added the movie trope version of their own line of work.
Here are 10 of the best examples, that you might want to try out in your own office soon.
1. Secretaries in movies love yelling “You can’t go in there!”
Hi, I’m a businessman in a movie. I hired a secretary and gave her exactly one job: to yell “You can’t go in there!” at men who ignore her and charge into my office anyway and it’s always fine really.
— Erica Buist (@ericabuist) January 3, 2019
2. Real-life writers aren’t all like Carrie Bradshaw.
Hello, I'm a writer in a movie. I write one piece a week and live in a two bedroom New York apartment with a walk-in wardrobe. Also I never actually pitch anywhere, the jobs just come to me. https://t.co/YyuPjYgEyP
— Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) January 3, 2019
3. Security guards get a bad deal.
Hello, I'm a security guard in a movie. Even good guys can kill me with none of difficulty, remorse, nor criminal charges
— Malcolm McCallum (@MalcolmMcCX) January 3, 2019
4. Drivers in movies are not the best…
Hi. I’m a person driving a car in a movie. I move the steering wheel left and right, left and right, repeatedly while having a conversation with my passenger. I also take my eyes off the road for ten to twelve seconds at a time in order to look at said passenger.
— Shaun O'Banion (@shaun_obanion) January 3, 2019
5. All lawyers really need is a stroke of genius.
Hello, I'm a lawyer in a movie. Every case is a lengthy jury trial where I'm totally outmatched & losing the entire time. Then, at the final possible moment I have a stroke of genius that no one ever thought of & win the case hands down. https://t.co/JjvS7Aa42O
— Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@MuslimIQ) January 3, 2019
6. “Just beers, literally any beers”.
Hello, I’m a bar patron in a movie, I can walk into any bar for the first time and say “Two beers please” and the bartender will hand me two beers with no discussion of type, brand, or receptacle, https://t.co/Op33EDnvaO
— T.J. Chambers (@tjchambersLA) January 3, 2019
7. This poor detective just wanted a quiet last day.
Hi. I’m a Detective in a movie. It’s my last day in the job. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a very quiet last shift with a cake and a few drinks. I’ll just take this withheld number call first.
— Dan Thomas (@dan_thom) January 3, 2019
8. Hackers in films are unrealistically quick.
Hello I'm a hacker in a movie and I can crash through firewalls and IPSes in seconds without performing any recon whatsoever. https://t.co/icLHC57UVd
— 💕Excelsior 💕 (@ScyneWaive) January 3, 2019
9. Breakfast scenes like this are unfortunately common.
I am a suburban/urban housewife in a movie about my kids. Every morning I make a full four course breakfast, and every morning each member of my family eats a bite of toast, bolts down two gulps of orange juice, and rushes out the door. do I just throw the rest away? nobody knows https://t.co/8cIwPsFGcI
— new year, same shrill (@theshrillest) January 3, 2019
10. Lastly, this movie trope isn’t accurate for most journalists any more…
Brilliant thread this. Hello, I'm an old-times newspaper editor in a movie. I snarl WHAT YOU GOT FOR ME? at a terrified new reporter, read it faster than a real human could, crumple it into a ball and pour a drink. But later it turns out the young reporter was onto something. https://t.co/vMciLGLrPA
— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) January 3, 2019