The distance between the brain and the mouth is not far – but even so, sometimes messages become muddled on their journey from thought to speech.
That much was made even clearer in a Twitter thread started by @MooseAllain on the social media website – his original tweet was noticed by thousands of other users who had stories of their own to tell.
So without further ado, let’s explore this rabbit hole of hilarity and embarrassment.
1. The original
Accidentally said "Many thank you" to a woman in a shop.
— MꙬse Allain (@MooseAllain) November 9, 2017
The sentiment remains the same, but something’s not quite right.
2. The logical reply
I hope she replied "Much welcome".
— Simon Blackwell (@simonblackwell) November 9, 2017
What would have been an entirely reasonably response.
3. The running joke
Jogged past school kids last night: one speaks out 'have a nice jog' *cute* I reply 'You too' *less cute*. He was in no way shape or form jogging
— C Mc (@CMc_New) November 9, 2017
At least Twitter user @CMc_New was already running away…
If I wasn't already running. I would have probably ran away
— C Mc (@CMc_New) November 9, 2017
4. Awkward anniversaries
every birthday. Someone says "happy birthday" to me and I answer "you too".
— Lulu-Helle (@Lulu_Helle) November 9, 2017
A one in 365 chance, right?
5. Ghastly greetings
Out running one morning, I met a man walking his dog, got confused whether to say hello or good morning, ended up shouting HORNING at him instead
— Roz (@rozknitroz) November 9, 2017
GOOD HORNING.
6. Try again
Once, a colleague politely asked if she could ask a question. I muddled up “fire away” and “go ahead”, telling her to “go away”.
— James Panton (@jamespanton) November 9, 2017
No option but to quit your job.
7. Marvin Hagler
My Mum once tried to say "I'm Hank Marvin" – rhyming slang for 'starving' – when she was hungry. Came out as "I'm Marvin Hagler".
As such, hungry members of our family have been "Marvin Hagler" for the last 30 years.
— Panini Cheapskates (@CheapPanini) November 9, 2017
Marvin Hagler was a middleweight boxer – was he hungry? Presumably sometimes.
8. The physical equivalent
Physical equivalent: I once left a meeting with a casting director and, thinking she was going to shake my hand – she was pointing to the door – shook her finger.
— Oliver Maltman (@OliverMaltman) November 10, 2017
How do you do?
9. “Newsdog”
Worked at a local paper with different titles, so standard way of answering the phone was "hello, newsroom". A colleague was wasting time one day looking at pictures of dogs and answered a call with "good afternoon, newsdog".
A nickname was born.
— Andrew Raeburn (@andrew_raeburn) November 10, 2017
The newsdog is a good and helpful pupper who helps deliver the paper, one can only assume.
