For people hoping to cash in on property prices in the event of a nuclear strike on Britain, one estate agency has you covered.
eMoov has created a map showing the impact of an “all-out nuclear attack” on 20 major cities in the UK and how far the blast, radiation, and fallout would cover.
Buy now and you might be able to get a bargain on a property in Inverness or Aberystwyth and save the hassle of building a “back yard nuclear bunker” along the way.
Except, no.
Nuclear war might make moving up the housing ladder or downgrading a little less of a priority.
Who wants to be thinking about repayment terms and interest rates when the country is twinned with Chernobyl?
Worst. Press. Release. Ever. #nuclearwar pic.twitter.com/NeIdr9qrMW
— David Byers (@davidbyers26) August 10, 2017
The press release uses the escalating conflict between the US and North Korea as a starting point to offer a sales pitch to keep buyers “clear of any nuclear impact from World War Three”.
It continues: “A back yard nuclear bunker can be a cool edition (sic) to a property, but can also be a pain to construct so rather than hide away, homeowners can look to radiation-free pockets of the nation to save themselves the trouble.
“Although we’re out of range from any threat from North Korea, London would be the obvious choice for a nuclear strike in the UK, but the capital could be the tip of the ice berg (sic), so eMoov used Nukemap to plot the resulting impact zones for an all-out nuclear attack on 20 major UK cities.”
It has been roundly criticised and mocked on social media.
Clearly a quiet property market if the vultures have time to do this – wonder if they've considered variables like yield and wind direction? https://t.co/KpIN7lKtCd
— Andy Anderson (@shelf_life64) August 11, 2017
I think they had too much time to play with the nuclear blast app/website and then had a (not so) bright idea.
— Owain Thomas (@OTJournalist) August 10, 2017
While some people have been excited to learn of their relative “safety”…
I knew there was a reason we lived here! #inverness #nuclearwar https://t.co/TsdFab9BXu
— Anna (@nessparalegal) August 11, 2017
My house in Inverness is for rent at a reasonable price when we reach the thermo nuclear war stage if anyone interested.
— Alan Grant (@JaggyAl) August 10, 2017
My house in aberystwyth gonna be fine pic.twitter.com/WC3WL7SISb
— el☉ (@eIeanxr) August 10, 2017
…Others are plotting their move to somewhere on the coast.
Oh that's useful. I've always fancied living in Whitby. https://t.co/ldmEu1VTpS
— Jenna Omeltschenko (@JenChenko) August 11, 2017
And for all the jokes…
Expect caravan holidays in Whitby to go through the roof.
— andy bailey (@andybailey123) August 10, 2017
Blimey! I don't think the six-minute warning would give you time to exchange and complete… https://t.co/qeduir5Hui
— simon read (@simonnread) August 10, 2017
Nothing says "Why not take on a 30 year mortgage?" like the threat of imminent nuclear war.
— Betty Swalls (@Ebugoblog) August 10, 2017
…is it the worst press release ever as The Times journalist David Byers suggested in his tweet?
Or best, depending how you look at it, I'd never heard of @emoov and now many people are talking about them. No such thing as bad publicity? https://t.co/v6rLSsU4WR
— Ross McKillop (@rsmck) August 11, 2017
Definitely one for the 'not all publicity is good publicity' folder. I'm now less inclined to use their services.
— Tom Callow (@au_tom_otive) August 11, 2017
Right, off to watch Threads.
