When Ashe Dryden was having a quiet meal at a hotel restaurant in Toronto, she got a whole lot more than she bargained for: an explosive and very public argument between a couple on the table next to her.
Thanks to the magic of modern technology, Ashe livetweeted the whole exchange. She says: “I started tweeting it more out of shock than anything else.”
y’all this is my new favorite telanovela
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
Hold on to your hats, because this is a veritable rollercoaster. FYI, Ashe sent out over 70 tweets during the saga, so this is the abridged version.First up: how the whole argument started.
omg the woman next to me just confronted the man with her because she found out he’s been seeing her while in another long-term relationship
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
A pretty juicy start, especially considering the woman found out he was cheating when his other girlfriend called him. Awkward.
What’s best is the woman’s reaction – she’s as calm as anything while he sweats it.
I haven’t heard him saying anything but stuttered sentence fragments and animal-in-pain noises and shes like pic.twitter.com/hjJDEn9cQr
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
The woman definitely knows how to deal with an argument properly – she’s as cool as a cucumber, and realises the necessity for cake.
Waiter: are you two thinking about dessert?
Him: no
Her: (to him) are you joking rn? (To waiter) yes, a cappuccino and chocolate cake— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
She’s like… not even mad? She’s cracking up at this guy as he realizes his whole personal life is now ??
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
She’s not going to let her cheating boyfriend get her down – she’s onto bigger and better things! Aka better boyfriends and body shots.
Her: This is gonna sound mean, but I’m gonna find someone new right away and be happy while you’ll still be a cheating loser
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
Her: but look at me: I’m fine. I’m going out tonight and gonna do body shots. I’m tired of you but I’m fine.
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
And then things get even better when the guy tries to justify his behaviour. Good luck with that, Brad (yes – his name is Brad).
Her: I don’t feel guilty at all.
Him: I’m very comfortable with who I am. I’m not a bad guy.She’s just staring at him
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
The woman is having none of that and proceeds to take. Brad. Down.
Her: I’m jumping to massive conclusions here, but I swear I have very little confidence in your ability to be a good guy, Brad.
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
Her: you’re aggressively passive aggressive. You’re extremely irreverent, cynical guy and every convo we’ve had is you just undermining me
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
Her: you’re a Chief Whatever-the-hell-you-are and still a small, sad man.
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
The onslaught continues, and Brad comes back with a particularly feeble response.
Him: so I can send you an email after I think about this some more?
Her: you wanna send me an email?
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
Seriously Brad – an email?!As if this woman could be any more badass, she’s taking Brad’s terrible behaviour as an opportunity to focus on herself.
Her: maybe I’m being super vague but I’m at a crossroads here. I used to be comfortable and now I wanna do a TED talk.
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
Her: I wanna talk about me. I’m not talking about you anymore.
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
Her: I like that I never have to worry about you again. What a relief.
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
Now that is a TED talk we would definitely listen to. But don’t worry, she’s not *quite* done giving Brad the what for.
Her: I’m asking you to play your part. Be a productive member of society, that’s all I’m saying.
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
And obviously Brad has no good answer for her.
It’s like he just can’t stop digging.
She’s cracking up at him now ??
— ashe dryden (@ashedryden) May 1, 2017
And then, as abruptly as it started, the conversation is over and the now ex-couple walk out of the restaurant together. Phew. Props to Ashe for providing us with the entertainment we needed – and her tale has won many fans on Twitter.
@ashedryden Dammmmmit this was incredible. Truly thrilling. Thank you for your service. Can I PayPal you?
— Kevin Garcia (@theKevinGarcia_) May 2, 2017
@ashedryden OMG!!! THIS WAS AMAZING! I feel like you should be recognized for your eavesdropping & transcription skills. You should get an award!!!
— ACTIndivisible (@ACTIndivisible) May 1, 2017
It’s not just Ashe who’s getting love, but also the woman in the conversation who dealt with everything like an absolute boss.
@ashedryden I absolutely love the fact that she refused to play the victim. All that self-confidence and seeing the situation for what it was. ??
— 'Tica (@VinoTica) May 1, 2017
It’s such a gripping tale that it’s even inspired fan art.
@ashedryden My artist friend loved this thread so much she drew you fan art! pic.twitter.com/8LrqmMSXyG
— Anne Barngrover (@Anne_Barngrover) May 2, 2017
Who needs to pay for entertainment when you can get it IRL?