If there’s one certain thing in this tempestuous, erratic world of ours, it’s that you can’t be good at everything.
Some of us were just born with olive oil in our veins and aesbestos on our fingertips, and others live their lives not knowing how to turn on a hob. And hey, that’s okay! Because we’re living in a millennial world now, with 24-hour McDonalds and a coffee shop on every corner.
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Here are 17 things that will be all too relateable if you are a truly terrible cook.
1. You will spend a lot of money eating out.
A meal at a restaurant isn’t just a treat, it’s a necessity.
2. It’s difficult to get your daily fruit and veg.
Cheap food on the go is often beige in colour and lacking in the fruit and vegetables you should probably be getting into your diet.
3. When you do try to cook, you get a lot of injuries.
Baby's first cooking injury. Cut my thumb chopping bacon for fried rice. pic.twitter.com/IzBWcgxTQy
— RJ (@TheZombieDogz) November 19, 2016
Is it really worth cooking if you have no fingers left to eat the food with anyway?
4. The food ends up tasting a bit weird.
It’s difficult to get used to the taste of burnt potatoes and undercooked middles.
5. You save a lot of time on the washing up.
Hayley Mills GIF – Find & Share on GIPHY
No need to wash up when you can simply dispose of the packaging in which the food arrived in.
6. You rarely invite friends around for dinner.
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Unless you’re ordering pizza.
7. You’ve sampled everything Pret has to offer.
Entire workforce: "100% making lunch and bringing in from home this year."
Pret a Manger: pic.twitter.com/XODI292arA
— Rupert Hawksley (@ruhawksley) January 3, 2017
With a Pret on every corner, the coffee chain has become your go-to staple for breakfast and lunch, especially during the working week.
8. You wonder if you’ll ever become a real adult.
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A real adult who prepares their own lunches and bakes their own bread. The real adult: a mythical creature.
9. You get to try a lot of different foods.
Sometimes the sheer volume of ingredients in one recipe is enough to put you off trying to make new things, so when someone else can prepare and cook that adventurous meal for you, why wouldn’t you succumb to the temptation?
10. You have no idea how people come up with flavour combinations…
How did someone work out that orange and chocolate go together? HOW?
11. …or how they know to season food…
How much is a pinch?
12. …or how long it takes to cook a chicken.
You’ve heard that under cooking chicken can be harmful, so you overdo it every time until it’s dry like leather…just in case.
13. Toast and cereal are your go-to meals.
My dinner options for tonight: cereal, crackers, pop tarts, or pickles. College is a struggle
— Kindra (@Kinnayyy97) February 1, 2017
Bon appetit!
14. The Just Eat delivery guy probably knows you by name…
When the online pizza delivery timer reaches 00:00 pic.twitter.com/hzLnafeCbi
— pizza (@tweetIikepizza) February 6, 2017
“Hey Gary, how you holdin’ up? I’ve noticed this is your fifth large pizza this week? Everything alright?”
*Grabs the pizza box and pulls it tight to chest*
“I’m………….*pulls the pizza box in tighter to chest*……..I’m fine.”
15. …oh, and everyone at the corner shop, too.
“You’re early today, Gary!”
16. You dream about becoming the next Nigella…
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Imagine being able to whip up a delicious chocolate mud cake at 3am in your pyjamas and getting paid for it.
17. …but ultimately you accept that that life is just not for you.
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As we said at the beginning, you can’t be good at everything.
