It might be some teachers’ dream come true, but when no students turned up to Adam Avitable’s class he thought he was in an existential nightmare.
Avitable, who describes himself as a “a small business owner, lawyer, motivational speaker, educator, best-selling author and comedian”, was in educator mode at a college in central Florida, getting ready for a class teaching for the graduation equivalency degree.
Unfortunately, nobody turned up.
You know that college rule – if the professor is more than fifteen minutes late, class is canceled?
Does the opposite apply as well? pic.twitter.com/IX0QzbX37Z
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
And thereafter Avitable’s Twitter feed turned into a detailed account of a guy beginning to question himself and his existence.
Classwatch 2017. Class started 30 mins ago. No students yet. I thought one was coming but it was just an administrator. Who laughed at me.
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Five more minutes have passed. I'm starting to doubt myself. Did I tell them no class? Is today Thursday? Am I dreaming? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
It's so quiet. Every time I hear a door open, I sit up and smile. But when nobody enters my classroom, I die on the inside. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Is everyone else in the world dead? Was there a sudden zombie attack and I survived, alone in my classroom? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
A bird lands outside my window. I invite him in to learn about algebra. He declines and flies away. I hope a cat eats him. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
By this time, Avitable was descending into what can only be described as an existential crisis.
I check my email to see if I missed something. I have no emails at all. This is weird. Did I die? Am I dead? Is this hell? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
My sign-in sheet is as empty as my soul right now. I have to eat this candy alone. #Classwatch2017 pic.twitter.com/loUV8pX5Q5
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SOMEONE IS PULLING A PRANK ON ME I WILL probably break down and cry. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
And then despair set in.
The lights just went off on me automatically. I start to get up to move around so they turn on again, but what's the point. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I have started to name the chairs in the classroom. Funfetti is the good student. Charmander, the troublemaker. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I fire off an email to my boss. "WHERE ARE ALL THE STUDENTS???!!?? ????"
No reply.#Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
That's it. I give up. I'm packing up and going home. Clearly this is a sign that I wasn't meant to teach anyone today. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
And just when it seems like no student could possibly be turning up, this happens.
Two students just walked in. Remorseless, no apology, no explanation. I hope they don't think they're getting any candy. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I can't do it. I give them candy anyway, but remind them that class started 95 minutes ago. They shrug. Urge to kill rises. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Both students ask to use the computer today. I sigh and say okay. I don't even need to be here. End. #Classwatch2017 pic.twitter.com/FKEaTDaxuU
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
The GED is a course for students who didn’t graduate from high school, and Avitable teaches three days a week.
He said the teaching is “non-traditional”, adding: “Each student is working on a different area, and we use print and computer materials to help them work on their own. They each work at their own pace, and when they hit a wall or start making errors, I work individually with them to explain it.
“My roster varies – some days I might only have a couple of students and other days, 10-15. I don’t expect them to come every day, or even to stay the whole period, but this was the first time that I’d been there for over 90 minutes without a single student showing up.”