Entertainment

Sleb Safari: The Spice Girls aren't wedding singers

Maeve Connoly

Maeve Connolly

Maeve is the deputy digital editor at The Irish News. She has worked for the company since 2000.

The Spice Girls 
The Spice Girls  The Spice Girls 

“Spice Girls to reunite at Brooklyn’s wedding” the headline read and you better believe Sleb Safari clicked on it faster than the speed of light.

Already Sleb Safari’s imagination was running riot. Were the Spice Girls singing the bride up the aisle? Was Emma going to be cooing Two Become One as the couple exchanged vows?

Sadly none of those things are going to be happening. It’s nothing more than actor/heiress Nicola Peltz and self-styled chef/photographer Brooklyn Beckham inviting his mum’s friends to their wedding.

The couple are getting married in the spring at Nicola’s family’s holiday home in Florida and Snoop Dogg has offered to DJ.

Snoop is also ‘in talks’ with David Beckham about organising a Las Vegas stag-do for Brooklyn. Wow, can’t wait to see what Martha Stewart pulls out of the hat for Nicola’s hen.

Snoop told the Mirror: "David has been my boy for over 10 years now and I am tight with his family.” 

“Brooklyn's wedding is going to be a big affair and my gift to him and his wife-to-be is I will come down and do a set for them on their big day.

"Nothing is going to get the party started after the first dance like a set from Snoop… the dance floor is gonna be on fire."

That’s not a gift that comes with a receipt so things could get awkward if they’ve already booked Mark McCabe.

“Back in the house for the year 2000, yeah yeah funky yeah…” 

Should Nicola and Brooklyn need honeymoon inspiration they can call Paris Hilton and her twin flame Carter Reum who got married last November and have just this minute wrapped up their honeymoon.

Paris and Carter and her Cartier engagement ring enjoyed a round-the-world-in-80-days honeymoon - and why not. They holidayed in Bora Bora, Anguilla, the British Virgin Islands, Tahiti, Moskito Island, spent Christmas in London, brought in the new year and a chunk of January in the Maldives and had a final fling in Dubai.

It took 80 days because of the time the couple spent creating #HoneymoonHiltonReum content. Paris has been diligently keeping friends, family and fans updated on her travels and among her very many Instagram posts was a series of pictures with the caption: "Play with fairies. Ride a unicorn. Swim with mermaids. Chase rainbows. Work like a boss babe."

It’s a bit long for a tattoo but it’s hella inspirational, motivational and aspirational.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Paris Hilton (@parishilton)

The honeymoon will also have cheered Paris up after her Netflix cookery show got the chop. We will never get to the bottom of why more people didn’t want to watch an adult preparing food while wearing fingerless gloves and carrying a small dog.

The honeymoon had another purpose - it’s become a YouTube series entitled My Dream Honeymoon, which Sleb Safari has watched so that you don’t have to and *spoiler alert* it includes “paid product placement” as it’s a giant, beautiful, ad for Hilton Hotels.  

Perhaps Brooklyn and Nicola want to explore this commercial opportunity. Hilton Hotels have been taken but there’s always Premier Inn or perhaps they could strike a deal with easyJet and get flights and hotels thrown in. No need to thank Sleb Safari for organising #HoneymoonBeckhamPeltz - a postcard will suffice.

Jackie Weaver is an authority on The Chronicles of Riddick

Jackie Weaver's specialist subject is The Chronicles of Riddick film franchise, starring Hollywood actor Vin Diesel
Jackie Weaver's specialist subject is The Chronicles of Riddick film franchise, starring Hollywood actor Vin Diesel Jackie Weaver's specialist subject is The Chronicles of Riddick film franchise, starring Hollywood actor Vin Diesel

Jackie Weaver, everyone’s favourite Zoom character of 2021, is appearing on Celebrity Mastermind next month and her specialist subject is a humdinger.

Jackie has chosen to be quizzed on The Chronicles Of Riddick film franchise which stars self-acclaimed actor and director Vin Diesel.

Will Jackie Weaver be an authority on it? You bet your butt.

She’ll be appearing on the first of 14 episodes alongside former footballer David James, whose chosen specialist subject is American pop artist Roy Lichtenstein, comedian/actor Ellie Taylor who will answer questions on Spice Girl Geri Halliwell and Blue’s Antony Costa who has chosen Grease the musical.

Others taking part are former Strictly Come Dancing professional Janette Manrara whose specialist subject is Disney’s renaissance, former Conservative MP Anna Soubry who has gone for Fawlty Towers and comedian James Acaster who has chosen the history of ice cream.

What a rum (and raisin) selection of subjects…

Damon Albarn's apology to Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift Taylor Swift

EMBARRASSMENT heaped upon embarrassment this week for Damon Albarn who tried to come across as the songwriter’s songwriter and succeeded in looking like an eejit.

In an interview with the LA Times Damon suggested Taylor Swift didn’t write her own songs which is hilarious for many reasons, including the fact, she has been honoured by the likes of the Nashville Songwriters Association and was the youngest person on Rolling Stone's list of the 100 greatest songwriters of all time.

 Taylor called him out publicly and he apologised but he’ll not shake that off any time soon.

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