Sleb Safari: Richard Madeley's left I'm A Celebrity so now who'll narrate the trials?

RICHARD MADELEY, aka The Man Rich, aka Richard of Richard and Judy, has left I’m A Celebrity and now we have no-one to narrate trials and test the tightness of knots.

Presumably it was Richard’s telly-presenter aversion to dead air that compelled him to talk incessantly during trials. Whatever the reason it was a lot of description and not much star finding. Still, we’ll miss it.

This year’s show got off to a slow start. The first challenge involved catching water in a bucket. David Ginola was partnered with Naughty Boy whose job was to take the full bucket from him, climb some steps and pour the water into a tub that leaked on to David below. Naughty Boy then returned the bucket to David. Rinse and repeat. Luckily, Naughty Boy had some extreme tactics up his sleeve and in an aside before the trial started told David he would take the stairs two at a time. David had some tactics of his own and took his shirt off. 

Naughty Boy has been an interesting character. He was part of the appropriately named blue team who spent the first few days in the clink, feeling cold and miserable. The red team were in the main camp and had their dishes washed and firewood replenished by the blue team. Naughty Boy had what could kindly be called an over reaction to all that plus the red team choosing him for a trial.

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Naughty Boy decided he was going to leave I’m A Celebrity. Or he was going to tell the red team exactly what he thought of them. In the end he did neither; but we’re going to cut him some slack.

Naughty Boy cares for his mum who has dementia and he’ll have had to quarantine away from her before entering the castle for potentially three weeks. He’s likely worried about how she is coping without him and whether his absence is a source of distress. Plus there’s always the fear of Covid-19. So we’ll forgive him his wobble.

And then there was Lord Simon Gregson who enjoyed quarantine far too much and couldn’t wait to get into the castle and on to a diet of rice and beans.

“I've done two weeks of quarantine,” he told The Sun.

“I thought, 'Right, there's some gym equipment, I shall lower my food intake, I shall do all the proper sleeping patterns that you have to do as it goes on late'. I've done none of them.”

So far, so relatable.

“I've kind of put the whole thing to the back of my mind so far that, at one point, I forgot what I was doing here. Just eating pies and enjoying life to its fullest. Of course, the food isn't great - rice and beans all the time, but for me it's a bonus. I desperately need to lose weight so I'm looking at it like the worst boot camp in the world."

That’s the spirit Simon, with expectations so low it can only be a positive experience.

Vin Diesel stirs things up again

THE feud between Dwayne The Rock Johnson and Vin Diesel is long and ridiculous, like the Fast & Furious franchise.

Vin has stirred things up again with an Instagram post addressed to his former co-star. 

“My little brother Dwayne... the time has come. The world awaits the finale of Fast 10. As you know, my children refer to you as Uncle Dwayne in my house. There is not a holiday that goes by that they and you don’t send well wishes... but the time has come. Legacy awaits. I told you years ago that I was going to fulfill my promise to Pablo. I swore that we would reach and manifest the best Fast in the finale that is 10! I say this out of love... but you must show up, do not leave the franchise idle, you have a very important role to play. Hobbs can’t be played by no other. I hope that you rise to the occasion and fulfill your destiny.”

Uncle Dwayne has yet to respond to this magnanimous offer.

Gregg Wallace likes to honeymoon in the same spot

You might have a favourite holiday destination but Gregg with two Gs Wallace has a favourite place to honeymoon.

He was chatting to a Sri Lankan chef on Masterchef: The Professionals when he made the revelation.

"Have you been to Sri Lanka?” Charith asked and Gregg replied: "I love it there. I've honeymooned there a few times."

And everyone rolled around on the floor laughing. 

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