Madonna's Met Gala dress was a 'political statement'
THIS week our tale takes us to New York where the Met Gala provided sleb smut hounds with a smorgasboard of fabulous and downright fugly dresses.
The theme for this year's fashion event was Manus x Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology which is a look only marginally more difficult to pull off than business casual.
Sleb Safari cannot begin to tell you how much it hopes this catches on and becomes the wedding theme of 2017.
There were plenty of gorgeous, creative and inspired outfits on the steps of the Met, particularly Sarah Jessica Parker's.
She wrote of her Hamilton-esque trousers, tailored jacket and corset in the New York Times: "We didn't want to simply apply lights and actual, physical technology on me. We didn't want it to be about the electronic screen or something that could turn on and off. We wanted it to be about the technology of thought, of application, of fabrication. The technology of the hand and the machine."
Madonna got dressed up too but less thought went into her bondage and black lace outfit. It wasn't a popular choice. Sleb Safari will defend Madonna's right to wear what she wants but even at that it wouldn't have minded seeing her chose something that wasn't a cliche. Black lace? She's done that for years. Bondage? Over it. Nudity? Yawn.
Madonna has claimed her dress was a statement on sexism and ageism.
"We have fought and continue to fight for civil rights and gay rights around the world," she said. Bet the LGBT community in Russia has already sent a card thanking her dress for supporting their cause.
"When it comes to women's rights we are still in the dark ages," Madge continued.
"My dress at the Met Ball was a political statement as well as a fashion statement. The fact that people actually believe a woman is not allowed to express her sexuality and be adventurous past a certain age is proof that we still live in an age-ist and sexist society.
"I have never thought in a limited way and I'm not going to start. We cannot effect change unless we are willing to take risks. By being fearless and by taking the road less travelled by. That's how we change history.
"If you have a problem with the way I dress it is simply a reflection of your prejudice. I'm not afraid to pave the way for all the girls behind me!! As Nina Simone once said, the definition of freedom is being fearless.
"I remain unapologetic and a rebel [heart] in this life and all the others. Join my fight for gender equality."
A word in your shell-like Madonna. No one is going to join your fight for gender equality if you're suggesting men should be free to wear that dress. That's not Sleb Safari being limited or prejudiced, merely realistic. You're welcome.
Happy Birthday David Beckham
THE happiest of birthdays to David Beckham who celebrated his 41st birthday with presents beautifully wrapped in world map wrapping paper with a pink bow.
Sleb Safari knows this because it saw it on Victoria’s Instagram with the lovely caption: “Happy birthday to the most amazing husband and wonderful daddy. We all love you so much”
Last week Sleb Safari brought you the startling news that Jenna Dewan Tatum had gifted husband Channing a rescue horse and this week it brings you the even more startling news that David Beckham got a BBQ for his birthday.
See? Victoria is just like you. After 16 years of marriage she’s run out of gift ideas.
Kanye West And His Smartphone
TIME for our regular check in at Casa Kardashian/West where parents Kim and Kanya live in cloud cuckoo land with their children North West and Saint West.
Sleb Safari is indebted to NY magazine for bringing to its attention Kanye’s explanation for purchasing his first mobile phone in 2011.
“I got a phone because somebody decided they wanted to marry Kris Humphries,” was how Kanye put the record straight.
And what? When the celebrant said “If anyone here know of any lawful impediment to this marriage they should declare it now” was Kanye going to ring through his reason?
Kanye must have been the one to get cold feet because Kim and Kris got married. Luckily for Kanye they separated two months later. Unfortunately Kanye was on a 24-month contract so he had to hang on to the phone.
He put it to good use though.
“I wasn't up to anything, and I looked on the internet, and there was Kim Kardashian with some extremely tall person, and I was like, I need to call her or something,” he explained.
“So I started sending her pictures of certain basketball players that used to be cool, that now they wear their pants all the way up to here ... Like, 'This is your future!'”
Kupid is one krazy kat.
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