Up and at it – what is your new morning routine? How has it changed?
You're asking a comic about mornings? There's the first mistake. My alarm clock is the Angelus.
What might you eat in a typical working day for...Breakfast?
I usually have porridge, but once in a blue moon the "so chocolately it turns the milk brown" monkey whispers into my ear and I eat a big bowl of his diabetes pellets.
Lunch?
Scrambled eggs on toast or maybe a salad if I'm in café. I'm not a great cook and I know they say salads are just a matter of assembly, but so is an Ikea bookcase, so I'll ask for help, thanks.
Evening meal?
Chicken stir-fry or, if I'm missing the Midlands, I'll just lick Bovril off a briquette.
Have you been able to work from home – if so, how have you found it?
Yes and no, really. I was able to do BBC Radio 4 shows and BBC 5 Live shows remotely which was very handy, but the bulk of my work has always been live shows. Zoom gigs are just not the same so it was a tough slog, work-wise, for a large part of the pandemic. We managed to make The Blame Game work with a Zoom audience and the producer cleverly used the fact that guests would be remote to try to get names who otherwise might not appear on the show.
Best/easiest lockdown meal?
M&S Lasagne. Do you have an oven? Check. Does it currently work? Check. Put lasagne in turned-on oven. Check.
Weekend treat?
Wood-fired pizza from a place around the corner. I see nothing wrong with pineapple on a pizza which I believe to some people makes me some sort of food heretic. I should be burned at the stake, or at the very least thrown into a pre-heated oven at 180 degrees if electric, 170 if fan.
How have you kept physically and mentally fit during lockdown?
I basically cleaned out the garage, put a few weights in there and bought gymnastic rings for about 20 quid. That meant I had all the stuff I need to burn off some energy. I can do almost nothing on those rings, incidentally. Mainly, I just look at them and imagine the rafters have hooped earrings. Exercising gave some structure to the day, though, when so much of daily life was unmoored.
What has been your daily outdoor exercise?
I tried to walk everywhere, so the step count was reasonably high. I don't live too far from the sea, so I tried to get to run along the sand dunes every so often too. Nowhere near daily, but enough to get me into it. I even bought a wetsuit which is, as of this moment mocking me from my wardrobe, tag still intact.
How do you relax?
I play indoor football badly and watch any film or TV series that involves a heist. I love heist films and prison break films and I don't really know why. My wife said, "There's something about the planning you love," but there's a lot of planning in a wedding too and I'm not going to watch a film about that. If Ocean's 11 was about the seating plan for an uneven number of relatives, I wouldn't watch it.
Teetotal or tipple?
Tipple, but fairly rarely.
What book are you currently reading?
Mark Billingham's latest. I did a gig with him some years ago when he was still a comic but beginning to write novels. I've followed his career ever since and have read all his books. It all came full circle when we met again doing Richard Osman's House of Games on BBC last summer. I'm not going to reveal who won the quiz as bragging about my victory would be gauche.
Best Netflix?
Money Heist
Most surprising thing you've learned about yourself?
I have unnervingly flexible hamstrings.
On a scale of one to 10, where have you been in relation to cabin fever and where are you now?
I wouldn't describe it as cabin fever. If work hadn't been as badly affected as it was and we had a few social outlets, it wouldn't have been too bad, but for both work and play to be hammered in one fell swoop was a double whammy. I'm hopeful now as I see more things opening and the vaccines being so effective. I'm wary of variants but optimistic.
What are the three things you missed most during the beginning of lockdown?
The Bee Gees.
Where will you go and what will you do when restrictions are fully lifted?
I'll do the biggest gig I can in as safe a way as I can and I look forward to the unique feeling of community that can happen in a darkened venue after a drink or two.
Biggest gripe?
Wear your mask over your nose too, you absolute spanner.
Have your priorities in life or perspectives changed?
Yep, I'm trying to carpe the old diem a bit more now. It's later than you think.
Any new skills or hobbies?
Nary a one. I did a bit of training for a show called Ireland's Fittest Families on RTÉ One, so I know I can trudge through a bog now. Does that count? Waste of a good bog if you ask me. You can't take the man out of Offaly...
What would you like to see change for good when this is all over?
I'd love to see the revitalisation of rural Ireland. If remote working continues and people don't have to commute, they have more free time to spend in their communities. We would all be able to contribute more to our home places than before and it could be a massive boon to our quality of life. Also, hugs from strangers can get in the bin.
Has coronavirus changed your attitude towards your own mortality?
Not directly because of the way the disease has a disproportionate effect on people in other age groups. It has made me even more cognisant of the mortality of the older members of my family, so I suppose that indirectly has made me think about when I might shuffle off this mortal coil too.
Neil Delamere is appearing at the SSE Arena, Belfast, on February 26 2022 (SSEarenabelfast.com). He is also due to perform his rescheduled 'End of Watch' gigs at the Ulster Hall on October 22 and 23 and at the Millennium Forum, Derry on October 29.
