A COUNSELLING charity said it is preparing for a peak in calls this new year as relationship tensions between families and couples come to a head over the festive period.
Relate NI said it had received an upsurge in telephone calls in January 2016 and it expects the same thing to occur this year.
It comes as a report shows that step-family relationships and families with young children are under particular pressure.
Figures show that 41 per cent of people with a child under 19 said money worries were a strain on their relationship, compared to 26 per cent of those without a child under 19.
Almost a third of parents of children aged under five identified household chores as a relationship strain.
The Happy Families report by Relate NI and Relate and Relationships Scotland also found relationships between step-parents and step-children are under pressure.
Six in 10 of step-parents reported good relationships with their step-children while nine in 10 said they had a good relationships with their biological children.
Dave Murphy from Relate NI said pressures can become intensified during Christmas.
"With the added financial burden of Christmas and the work that goes into preparing the home and tidying up afterwards, it's no wonder that rows and tears during this period are common.
"These findings also indicate some of the challenges families can face following the breakdown of a relationship and blending families.
"Step-mums can feel pressure to be maternal and are more likely to face rejection from their step-children, and step-kids can find themselves caught between biological parents and new family members. Christmas can be a time when all these issues come to the surface."
Here are Relate NI's tips for keeping the peace this Christmas:
- Take it slowly. If it is the first Christmas in a new family set up then remember that you have to allow time for adjustments to settle in. Don't expect everything to be ideal - manage your own expectations and disappointments.
- Plan ahead. Getting some of the jobs done ahead of time means everyone will be less stressed, and planning the festivities as a family is likely to make sure everyone feels like their hopes and expectations are being listened to.
- Don't overspend.
- Talk to your children. If you are a single parent, talk to your child about who they want to spend time with over the holidays. Talk to your ex-partner first though to determine what they are doing.
- Plan something special. If arguments are likely over the festive period, have a few special events that everyone knows about so you have things to look forward to.
- Don't spoil the step-kids: If you have step-children staying at Christmas, do treat them like part of the family but not like special guests. Relationships take time to build and making the step-children into VIPs may appear insincere or upset your own children.
For further information, please visit www.relateni.org or call 028 9032 3454.
