WHAT of Katie Price, Sleb Safari hears you ask and you're quite right to, for at least six weeks have passed since we checked in on Katie and her Chosen Stallion and naturally there is an update to this love affair to end all love affairs.
It's almost a year since the couple got his and hers veneers in Turkey and it's true what they say, the couple that gets cosmetic dentistry together, stays together.
The "bargain-style" Christmas wedding in the back garden with heat lamps didn't happen but the Chosen Stallion, aka Carl Woods, has since proposed and now it's all systems go-go-go with a wedding and a baby on their wish list.
The couple has wasted no time and when Portugal made a brief appearance on the green list they headed there for a "baby-making holiday". How do we know that is the purpose of the holiday? Why, a source has been whispering/emailed a press release to the relevant publications.
You don't become a businesswoman, equestrian, author, reality TV old-hand, hair extension raffler and wedding day devotee without knowing how the game works.
The source told The Mirror that "Katie is over the moon to get away for a holiday with Carl and get him all to herself - she's been feeling stressed trying to get pregnant again. She's saying it's a baby-making holiday and so she's hoping some relaxation in the sunshine will be good for them".
new! magazine also got the inside track on this Algarve love-fest with the added bonus of a possible baby name.
"After their holiday in Portugal, she's holding on to hope that she could be pregnant.
"She's even joked that if she is, they'll name the baby something like Lisbon after the holiday."
It's probably not a joke though is it? And that's OK. There should be more babies named after their place of conception. More Ballymenas and Ballincolligs please. More Fuengirolas and Floridas pretty please.
Baby Lisbon won't be the first child named after a place close to its parents' hearts.
The director Ron Howard and his wife Cheryl Alley bestowed a special middle name on each of their children.
Take actor daughter Bryce Dallas Howard for example. What might have inspired Dallas do you think?
"The rule was it's wherever we were conceived, it's so disgusting," Bryce told ABC a few years back when promoting Jurassic World and bored answering questions about dinosaurs.
"For me, it was a city, for my sisters, it was a hotel," she said.
For the record: Carlyle.
And her brother's middle name is Cross, in honour of the road the family lived on.
It's a novel idea and Sleb Safari does so hope it takes off in influencer circles.
Here's to babies with middle names such as #Gifted and #Sponsored. How long before Airbnb is considered a traditional middle name? The ball's in your court Katie Price.
The Supervet's speedy exit from Harry and Meghan's wedding
It has come to Sleb Safari's attention that The Supervet, aka Noel Fitzpatrick, left Meghan and Harry's wedding celebrations early.
Immediately Sleb Safari is picturing Noel rushing off to perform an emergency tracheotomy on a hamster.
Noel had befriended the couple when he treated Meghan's beagle and they invited him to their wedding.
He set the scene like any good Irish man: "There were canapés".
Explaining that he had a touch of imposter syndrome, Noel said he felt honoured to be there but had to leave early.
And what was the veterinarian medical emergency? Er, his shoes were hurting him.
"I thought, I don't actually know anybody. I'm really lucky to have seen this magical thing and I am very happy for Harry and Meghan, because they are wonderful people, but my shoes are killing me."
Noel, don't worry, we've all been there. Many a good night out has been ruined by a bad pair of shoes.
Dolly Parton will be wearing lippie in an earthquake
DOLLY Parton is happy to open up about her life in her lyrics. She'll also answer questions from fans and journalists alike, but one thing she simply will not allow is for anyone to see her without make-up.
She's been chatting to WSJ magazine about sleeping in her make-up. Just in case.
"I do all my beauty work and cleaning my face in the morning because I usually try to keep my make-up on at night.
"Because I never know if there's going to be an earthquake or a tornado or a storm and I'm going to have to go out in the middle of the night."
Sleb Safari has experienced neither earthquake nor tornado but is quietly confident that having a full face of make-up would be of no benefit whatsoever in either situation.
"911, what's the emergency?"
"The ground is shaking, buildings are falling..."
"Are you wearing lippie?"
"Absolutely."
"Then you do not require our services ma'am."
Doesn't seem likely does it?
