LIKE everyone else, I was horrified about the murder of Sarah Everard in London. The 33-year-old went missing on March 3 while walking home from a friend's house. Her remains were found in woods around 50 miles away from where she was last seen. A 48-year-old officer with London's Metropolitan Police appeared in court on Saturday to face charges of kidnap and murder in the case.
The incident understandably sparked a huge emotional response across the UK. Women spoke out about the violence they had endured at the hands of men. They took to social media in their droves to spell out experiences of sexual harassment, being followed, being attacked, feeling fearful, sexual violence and how Sarah's tragic death had brought forward these memories.
Those women who had their lives snubbed out in their supposed place of safety by domestic abusers were remembered. Women recalled horrific, disturbing and despicable attacks at the hands of men.
A lot of it was very hard to read. But the conversation was an important one to have so that people understand what a lot of women face in their day-to-day lives. Most women have been sexually harassed by a man, it's almost normalised behaviour. It shouldn't be.
Most women feel fear when out by themselves, particularly at night, and most women know that awful dread and apprehension of walking somewhere, knowing a man is walking close behind you. Most women know the keys in the hand trick, to wear shoes that enable running, to pretend to be on the phone or stop until the man behind you passes by. Most women are familiar with the fear when getting into a taxi. Will I get home alright?
It has become so normalised to feel and act like this, I'm sure a lot of women wondered if anything will ever change.
I have three sons and a daughter. I thought of my daughter when I saw Sarah Everard's beautiful face. She was just walking home, an innocent, simple act that we all do every day of the week, and she ended up murdered. It brought back all of those fears we feel as we walk down a dark street and made them flesh.
There are bad men in the world. But there are also good men, those who will push back against sexist jokes their mates tell, who will tell their mates to wise up if they shout at a girl passing by, there are those who will intervene if they see something happening to a woman in the street or in a bar, those who respect and protect women, who call out inequality in the workplace and in society and treat women as their equals.
I have been told by a man that I can't do things simply because I'm a woman. I've been undermined and condescended to. I've been pinned to a wall by a bad man and had disgusting comments thrown my way by others. I've been pushed, groped, shoved, bullied, harassed, screamed at and threatened by bad men. I've had bad men try to break me.
And I've been helped by good men. A few years ago, when a group of women surrounded me one night with the intent of beating me up about a story I covered, several good men protected me and escorted me out of there. For every bad man story, I have dozens of good men ones.
We need more good men. We need to teach our sons to treat girls with dignity and respect, to show that through their actions and words. We need them to have the courage to stand up for a girl if needed. We need them to think before they speak, to never use physical actions to make a point, to communicate and listen. We need our sons to be gentlemen, to be strong in their opposition to bad treatment and inequality, to treat women with respect, love and compassion, to understand boundaries and that no means no.
God bless Sarah Everard's family as they grieve the loss of this beautiful soul. Nothing can bring her back. But the circumstances surrounding her tragic and untimely death have sparked an important conversation that could and should help protect women in the future.
