Life

Sleb Safari's lockdown life is measured in snacks

Maeve Connoly

Maeve Connolly

Maeve is the deputy digital editor at The Irish News. She has worked for the company since 2000.

Selena Gomez hosted the MTV Europe Music Awards 2011 at the Odyssey Arena in Belfast
Selena Gomez hosted the MTV Europe Music Awards 2011 at the Odyssey Arena in Belfast Selena Gomez hosted the MTV Europe Music Awards 2011 at the Odyssey Arena in Belfast

CAN we talk about lockdown lard? People have been musing about how the coronavirus crisis has made them realise what’s important and what’s not and they’ve ruminated on the things they’ll leave behind when we reach the other side. Well, quite. Sleb Safari knows someone who’ll be leaving behind a wardrobe of clothes that no longer fits.

A home office in the kitchen is not a recipe for health. Last week Sleb Safari opened a packet of gluten-free biscuits it had sourced ages ago for a friend who is coeliac. It opened them “because they’re out of date at the end of the month”. Which month? Next month. And they weren't even nice.

Do you know who else likes their grub? Zoo otters. Scientists have discovered that otters juggle stones when they’re hungry, in excitement at what’s to come.

Researchers from the University of Exeter studied the behaviour of 50 otters. What a job, truly.

Do you know who else is “very vocal about my love of food”? Selena Gomez. And she’s just been given a cookery show on HBO Max.

Selena – a keen amateur – will be guided in the kitchen by an actual chef in an appropriately socially distanced kitchen.

It’s a 10-week series and there’ll be a different chef on every episode.

“I’ve always been very vocal about my love of food,” Selena offered by way of explanation. “I think I’ve been asked hundreds of times in interviews, if I had another career, what would I do, and I’ve answered that it would be fun to be a chef.

“I definitely don’t have the formal training though. Like many of us, while being home I find myself cooking more and experimenting in the kitchen.”

That’s it? That’s the criteria?

You know who else has scored a quarantine cookery show? Amy Schumer. Helpfully, her husband is a chef.

As always, Sleb Safari has been checking in on celebrities the world over, making sure they’re fit and healthy and haven’t burned down their home gym.

Jennifer Aniston is so bored she’s taken to watching the spin cycle on her washing machine.

Jennifer, just be grateful you’re not married to Dwyane Wade. He’s making Gabrielle Union watch all his old NBA games. “Like he doesn’t know how they end,” she says.

How and ever, the truthers out there are having a time of it. So many conspiracies to keep track off; so many claims and counter-claims to stay on top of.

Jason Manford says he was turned down for a job as a Tesco driver. Tesco says he didn’t submit his application on time. Who to believe? Sigh.

And then Olympic swimmer turned commentator Rebecca Adlington issued a statement through her publicist to say that no, she was not self-isolating with both her boyfriend and ex-husband.

Trying times indeed. Do you know what we all need? A nice cup of a tea and a biscuit (tin).

Met Gala Memories

The first Monday is traditionally the night of the Met Gala but of course this year’s had to be cancelled. In the lead up to it celebrities shared pictures of their favourite looks as well as the outfits they would have worn to the 2020 extravaganza.

There was a #MetGalaChallenge where people were asked to recreate an iconic look from Met Galas of yesteryear. So we had Rihanna’s mitre made from tin foil and her omelette dress fashioned from a yellow duvet. Some celebrities posted throwback photos, looking radiant, others put their favourite outfit on again and posted that pic.

And then there was Mindy Kaling. Who did this and won the #MetGalaChallenge:

Florence Pugh's standing ovation for Martin Scorsese

Florence Pugh attending the 73rd British Academy Film Awards held at the Royal Albert Hall, London on February 2 2020. Picture by Matt Crossick/PA Wire
Florence Pugh attending the 73rd British Academy Film Awards held at the Royal Albert Hall, London on February 2 2020. Picture by Matt Crossick/PA Wire Florence Pugh attending the 73rd British Academy Film Awards held at the Royal Albert Hall, London on February 2 2020. Picture by Matt Crossick/PA Wire

Florence Pugh has been recounting an embarrassing incident from the Oscars involving Martin Scorsese and a bag of M&Ms.

Florence told Elle that “At one point, everyone stood up to applaud Martin Scorsese” and she’d “just got out a bag of M&Ms”.

“As we all got up, a camera popped right in my face and I was waving this bag of M&Ms about. So I just had to drop it… on the floor.

“I thought ‘I can’t be the girl who’s eating M&Ms while giving Martin a standing ovation’.”

Excellent story Florence and you made the right decision in what must have been exceptionally trying circumstances.

However, one question remains unanswered. Was the bag open or not?

Grimes and Elon Musk welcome a baby boy

Congratulations to Grimes and Elon Musk who are celebrating the arrival of a baby boy who they’ve named X Æ A-12.

Sleb Safari is unsure how that is pronounced but looks forward to finding out. Hey, he’s their baby and they can call him whatever they want.

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