Sleb Safari: Celebrity shenanigans under coronavirus lockdown
AND so this is week two of lockdown. And what have you done? Another week over; and a new one just begun.
As always, Sleb Safari’s lens is trained on the movements of the inhabitants of the celebrity biodome. It’s an extra long lens since Sleb Safari is staying at home for loved ones and strangers alike.
The first person Sleb Safari checked in on was Liam Gallagher because last week he thought he had coronavirus but it turned out he just needed to fiddle around with the heating and take his parka off. Conclusion: He’s fine, still stirring the pot on Twitter, but fine.
Kylie Jenner’s grand too. The surgeon general of the United States asked for her help in spreading the #StayAtHome message and she came out swinging and then donated $1 million for the purchase of protective gear for healthcare workers in the US.
Rihanna also whipped out her cheque book (Google it kids) and pledged $5 million in grants through her Clara Lionel Foundation to help in the fight against coronavirus. The money will support food banks, buy medical equipment and provide testing kits in the US and countries which are not economically resilient. She also promised $700,000 for the purchase of ventilators for hospitals in her home country of Barbados.
When Sleb Safari focused its lens on Britney Spears it was met with a confusing tableau. Britney has shared a message from a Brooklyn artist about the situation we find ourselves in and what is waiting on the flip side and it ends with this: “We will feed each other, re-distribute wealth, strike. We will understand our own importance from the places we must stay. Communion moves beyond walls.”
So the thinking is that Britney’s a communist now. Which is a-ok, but a turn up for the books nonetheless.
Coronavirus has changed many people’s outlook on different things and imbued parents with a new found respect for teachers.
Spare a thought for Angelina Jolie who is at home with six children. Four are teenagers and the twins are tweenies so there’s going to be tears and drama – and that’s just from the adult in the house whose stress level has been turned up to 11.
Meanwhile, Kyle Chandler fostered a rescue dog which he is obviously going to adopt once this is all over; Pink got a bit squiffy and cut her own hair, Gordon Ramsey joined TikTok and the President of Slovakia Zuzana Caputova posed for an official photo in a face mask that was the exact same shade as her dress.
As always Queen of Twitter Chrissy Teigen took things to a different level, this time scoring a Romaine lettuce from someone on Twitter at a prearranged meet in a church car park somewhere in LA. In return, she handed over half a banana bread, two pieces of pie and a bottle of wine.
The transfer was made using a toy car that could be controlled remotely to ensure everyone adhered to social distancing advice. And that’s the message Sleb Safari is leaving you with today – stay safe, stay at home.
Next week: Sleb Safari sends up a drone to find out what celebrities are getting up to during lockdown.
Mr Motivator and Angela Rippon host new TV show
LAST Thursday we got the news we didn’t know we needed – Mr Motivator and Angela Rippon are going to front a new TV show together.
Sleb Safari says ‘together’, but Angela is over 70 and self-isolating at home while Mr M is 67 and likely running on the spot in his living room in lycra.
Their show is called HealthCheck UK Live and will be on the telly at 10am every week day for a fortnight, starting today.
Angela will offer advice on staving off loneliness and Mr Motivator will help get everyone exercising, again.
“Now more than ever it is important to keep our bodies and minds healthy,” Mr Motivator said.
“Everybody say: ‘Yeah, let’s get happy and be wicked at home!'”
Ahm, ok then, if you insist.
Line of Duty Is going to be better than ever
MARTIN Compston says he’s put his waistcoat away for a little while but Line of Duty fans can be assured that series six is going to be a corker.
Martin/Steve told Good Morning Britain “the scripts this year… again, they just seem better than ever”.
“We will be back at some point again to get them finished and I hope they’ll be back bigger and better,” he said.
Sleb Safari cannot wait.
Perrie from Little Mix has rationing woes
IF YOU’RE the type who likes to keep one tin of tuna in the cupboard. Just. In. Case. then you’ll have sympathy for Perrie Edwards from Little Mix who is staying at home with her boyfriend Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.
Alex plays for Liverpool FC and Perrie says “he’s never full”.
“I literally keep saying to people when they’re like ‘how is Alex’, I’m like, he’s good, but one, try rationing with an athlete in your house.
“It’s impossible, he’s never full. He’s like a pit that doesn’t fill up.”
Perrie, imagine you had him and a teenage boy in your house. Your cupboard would be picked bare.