Sleb Safari: When the US surgeon general asks for Kylie Jenner’s help you know we’re in trouble

THESE are extraordinary times. Of that there is no doubt. Those who can are staying at home, those who need to are self-isolating and everyone is social distancing all so that those who matter to us most are kept safe and well.

The duration of this period of confinement is unknown and while working from home last week Sleb Safari had a very sobering thought. We’re going to have to learn how to cut our own hair. It won’t end well for Sleb Safari who is so bad at arts and crafts you’d think it was not in possession of opposable thumbs. It once had to leave a card-making workshop for a breather and to visit the vending machine for a chocolate bar of encouragement.

Sleb Safari learned an important lesson that day – stick to what you know and do best. The rest of the workshop was spent putting stickers on pre-cut and folded cards while others in the class made origami extravaganzas.

Back to the pressing problem at hand, of keeping ourselves and others healthy. Sleb Safari is pleased to see that celebrities are leading by example; self-isolating like they were born to do it and encouraging others to do the same. In the words of the tiny but mighty Ariana Grande “like your hip hop yoga class can wait I promise”.

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In the midst of it all, Jared Leto stumbled out of the desert after a 12-day silent meditation, dazed and confused that a global pandemic had taken hold while he was exploring the recesses of his mind.

“Wow,” Jared tweeted. “12 days ago I began a silent meditation in the desert. We were totally isolated. No phone, no communication etc. We had no idea what was happening outside the facility.”

“Walked out yesterday into a very different world. One that’s been changed forever.” You’re not wrong there sunshine.

Jared continued: “Mind blowing – to say the least. I’m getting messages from friends and family all around the globe and catching up on what’s going on.”

There have already been times during this #WFH social experiment when Sleb Safari has wished it could join a 12-day silent meditation in the desert just to get away from the WhatsApp notifications.

Further proof that all is wrong in the world was provided by Surgeon General of the US Jerome Adams when he appealed for Kylie Jenner’s help on national TV.

“We need to get Kylie Jenner and social media influencers out there, in helping folks understand that look, this is serious, this is absolutely serious. People are dying,” Dr Adams told Good Morning America.

Referring to his own beloved children, the surgeon general said “the more I tell them not to do something, the more they want to do it”.

That was likely the first and last time Kylie Jenner will be called upon by the surgeon general of the United States of America but if that isn’t an indication of how seriously we need to take the coronavirus then what is?

Ways to stay entertained while self-isolating

OUR loved ones over 70 are self isolating and we need to support them, plus the vulnerable in our communities.

With that in mind Sleb Safari asked Twitter for suggestions on how those who live on their own, aren’t online and who will find themselves at a loose end could pass the time. Lots of people made excellent suggestions, including:

• crossword/puzzle/sudoku/adult colouring books
• crochet/knit - perhaps for a local hospital
• arts and crafts eg: card making
• read
• plant flower bulbs/vegetable seeds
• bird watch
• write a story
• listen to audio books
• learn the tin whistle
• bake
• paint
• write a memoir
• draw the family tree

And for those with internet access you can do a virtual tour of museums and galleries around the world courtesy of Google’s Arts and Culture partnership. This is the link you need:  https://artsandculture.google.com/partner

Ivy League universities in the US also have 450 free online courses in subjects ranging from the humanities to engineering to computer science. The courses last between one and 16 weeks. Here is the link you need: https://www.freecodecamp.org/news/here-are-380-ivy-league-courses-you-can-take-online-right-now-for-free-9b3ffcbd7b8c/

So why not buy someone you know an item from the list above or help to set them up with an activity and let’s help people living alone stave off loneliness.

All Hail Queen Celine

Can we take a moment to appreciate the looks Celine Dion served up during a week of concerts in New York. This woman. We don’t deserve her. Sleb Safari’s favourite is the pink, floral ballgown with a cream jumper.