Life

Mary Kelly: But will we learn any lessons from the RHI experience? Probably not

The cash-for-ash debacle really did anger ordinary people who were given a rare chance to see how government actually worked – and they didn’t like what they saw

A laptop in the Great Hall of Stormont's Parliament Buildings in Belfast showing a live feed of the DUP leader Arlene Foster giving evidence to the RHI inquiry. Picture by Liam McBurney/PA Wire
A laptop in the Great Hall of Stormont's Parliament Buildings in Belfast showing a live feed of the DUP leader Arlene Foster giving evidence to the RHI inquiry. Picture by Liam McBurney/PA Wire A laptop in the Great Hall of Stormont's Parliament Buildings in Belfast showing a live feed of the DUP leader Arlene Foster giving evidence to the RHI inquiry. Picture by Liam McBurney/PA Wire

FRIDAY afternoons are traditionally a good day to bury bad news, as any savvy press officer knows. There are fewer news and current affairs outlets and people are usually too preoccupied with their weekend plans to pay the same attention to the news agenda.

But somehow yesterday’s long-awaited report into the RHI fiasco may challenge this wisdom. Anyone who followed the inquiry or who has read Sam McBride’s masterly opus Burned will already be well aware of the impact this catalogue of incompetence and sheer greed has had on the body politic.

Arlene Foster may well be wishing she was glad handing in Washington DC with all those politicians who manage to dig out an Irish granny and a green tie for St Pat’s Day. But, in truth, we’ve already heard the worst of it about the woman who was “accountable but not responsible”.

Remember this was the ex-lawyer reputed to have an eye for detail who later said she couldn’t be expected to be across every “jot and tittle” in her department.

Her party has already taken an electoral blow, but as long as fears about unity projects can be whipped up, it’s unlikely they’ll face much worse from the voters next time round.

The Shinners don’t escape opprobrium either. There was the revelation, thanks to the enquiry, that the then finance minister Martín Ó Muilleoir scuttled off to the unknown, unelected eminence grise Ted Howell for approval before signing off a plan aimed at cutting the cost of the scheme.

It gave Leo Varadkar and Mícheal Martin ammunition to chuck at the chuckies. Did it also lead to the ebullient Ó Muilleoir’s decision to quit politics? Who knows?

But the essential problem with Northern Ireland politics is that somehow, in the end, there is little political consequence for wrongdoing whether you believe it’s deliberate or not.

And this is despite the fact that the cash-for-ash debacle really did anger ordinary people who were given a rare chance to see how government actually worked, and they didn’t like what they saw: civil servants who didn’t keep records in case their political masters were embarrassed, overpaid spads who seemed to be running their ministers while ignoring and encouraging a scandalous abuse of public money, Stormont committees who didn’t ask questions including the most obvious... If it seems to good to be true, it probably is.

Can we learn from this experience? Probably not. In Northern Ireland you can fool most of the people all of the time.

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ACCORDING to President Donald Trump, doctors he has spoken to are amazed at how much he knows about medical matters including the coronavirus.

“Maybe I have a natural ability,” he told the White House press corps who somehow managed not to laugh out loud.

Despite advice to the contrary, Trump says all this coronavirus story is just fake news by a hostile media and Democrats to scare Wall Street into banjaxing the economy to make things difficult for him come November’s election. And it’s probably Obama’s fault too.

But lest we laugh too loudly, our own dumb blond in power gave an important interview on the issue to, er, Philip Schofield.

He rambled about one theory being that maybe we should just take this virus “on the chin” and let it run rampant, before quickly adding that it was important to take all precautionary steps to prevent it spreading. Phew.

Then, for good measure we had Nigel Farage interviewed on Newsnight for his special insight. Why? At least Jurgen Klopp had the sense to say he didn’t know why he was being asked about the virus as he was merely famous but not an expert on anything other than football. Sensible man. Wish he was in charge.

Former cabinet minister Rory Stewart always seemed like the only human being in the Tory leadership contest, even if he is a bit eccentric. Not content with getting a kicking in that challenge, he is now aiming to be next mayor of London. He deserves to win simply for coming up with the most bizarre campaign strategy... the sleepover or #kipwithme.

Yes, Mr Stewart has been spending the night on the sofas, floors, in the duck-houses or spare rooms of Londoners to hear at first hand what they think. He promises to bring a sleeping bag and a box of chocolates. The sleeping bag will be handy as Mr Stewart voted in favour of the spare bedroom tax.

Interesting idea this sleepover. Let’s hope it never catches on over here.