Ask Fiona: My husband has become very jealous and controlling
Columnist and trained counsellor Fiona Caine advises a woman whose husband's possessive behaviour is making her feel trapped and a young woman being pressurised into finding a husband
Tell those that are pressuring you that you'd rather stay as you are until the right person comes along
I'VE been married to my husband for 14 years and although it was fine for a while, over the last four or five years, he's become very jealous and possessive.
I suppose he always was a bit that way, but I didn't really mind too much – I thought it showed how much he loved me. Now though, he makes me feel completely trapped and very claustrophobic.
He never lets me go out on my own – I do, but only when he's at work. I hate the sneaking around and the way he cross-questions me when he gets back. I hate the lying and the deceit. On the odd occasions he finds out about where I've been, he flies into a rage and can be angry for several days.
You'd think this would be my problem, but the thing is, although I love my husband, I have developed feelings for my neighbour. I only get to talk to him when my husband isn't around, but it's enough to mean I'm really attracted to him. He is understanding and very supportive, as he has heard how angry my husband can get.
I couldn't leave my husband, even though this other man has suggested I should, because I do love him – so why can't I get this other man out of my head?
HOW CAN I GET MY BOYFRIEND TO BE MORE AMBITIOUS?
My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now and although I love him, I find him incredibly frustrating. I suppose I am rather a driven person, keen to get on with my career, but although he's a brilliant writer and musician, he doesn't do anything about it.
He works in a warehouse, which must be deadly boring, but when I suggest a job more suited to his skills, he does nothing about it. All he wants to do is drift along and seeing him waste his talents like this is depressing. How do I get him to see sense?
SHOULD I TRY HARDER TO FIND A RELATIONSHIP?
I'M IN my 30s and single, which seems to bother my family and friends. I like my life but I'm getting increasing pressure from them to find someone to marry.
Being single doesn't bother me – I have a number of close relationships when I've wanted them, but I also have financial independence and the freedom to do things as and when I please.
I'm starting to worry about why none of those relationships ever amounted to anything and I'm worried I'm putting out the wrong vibe. The thing is, I'd quite like to find someone but only if the right man came along - otherwise I know I'd be happier being single.
WHY IS MY EX STILL WINDING ME UP?
My ex-boyfriend's parents are close friends of my parents, and so the families often get together. When they visit, he often comes with them, and when he does, he's forever flirting with whoever else is around and making remarks about me.
He knows this winds me up and he's doing it deliberately to upset me. We broke up over something really trivial and although I tried to get back together with him, he didn't want to know.
The annoying thing is, I still love him, so even though I don't want him to visit, I still do and I'm so confused.