Sleb Safari: Shawl right on the night for Fleetwood Mac at Glastonbury
GLASTONBURY turns 50 next year. Expect to see a giant party hat atop the Pyramid Stage, but no foil balloons shaped like the numbers 5 and 0 because they are getting a bad rap for coming back down to earth, deflated and looking like tasty fodder in fields filled with livestock whose job it is to graze incessantly.
With such a milestone comes the expectation of a birthday bash to top all birthday bashes, which is a challenge when you’re the Glastonbury Festival.
Who to hire to perform at such a birthday bash? 'That wedding band that does a lot of Ed Sheeran covers' won’t cut the mustard, not when headline acts have included David Bowie, Van Morrison, The Rolling Stones and Bruce Springsteen – and not when even the non-headliners are the likes of Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton and Mavis Staples.
Fleetwood Mac are the bookies' favourite to headline the Pyramid Stage in 2020. Now that would be a party. How Stevie Nicks will ever decide which shawls to wear is anyone’s guess.
Stevie’s shawl collection is the stuff of celebrity legend and she keeps it in a climate controlled vault. It might not be too much of a stretch to postulate that she has names for them all.
She spoke reverentially about her collection to Rolling Stone magazine.
"I have my shawl vault – they’re all in temperature-controlled storage. I have these huge red cases Fleetwood Mac bought, all the way back in 1975 – my clothes are saved in these cases. All my vintage stuff is protected for all my little goddaughters and nieces.
"I’m trying to give my shawls away – but there’s thousands of them. If I ever write my life story, maybe that should be the name of my book: There’s Enough Shawls to Go Around."
Sleb Safari would be worried that Stevie would spend so much time down in the vault trying to decide on shawls appropriate for Glastonbury’s 50th birthday party that she’d get sick.
Air con is not good for the voice and when you factor in artificial light… it’s got disaster writ large. She’ll either have a vitamin D deficiency or laryngitis.
One person who could help Stevie shortlist is her number one fan and friend, Harry Styles. Harry inducted her into the Hall of Fame earlier this year, delivering a touching speech about his mentor.
"If you’re lucky enough to know her, she’s always there for you. She knows what you need; advice, a little wisdom, a blouse, a shawl – she’s got you covered.
"Her songs make you ache, feel on top of the world, make you want to dance, and usually all three at the same time. She’s responsible for more running mascara – including my own – than all the bad dates in history combined. That is true Stevie."
Back to the problem at hand, to wit: How to keep Stevie in rude health and looking splendidly be-shawled.
After a spot of blue sky thinking (ie, gazing out the window) Sleb Safari has come up with a solution: Stevie needs to commission a bespoke shawl for the occasion and afterwards she can formally induct it into the shawl vault in a special ceremony. Problem solved.
Matthew McConaughey is teaching a class at the University of Texas
ALRIGHT, alright, alright! Matthew McConaughey has signed up to teach a class in the University of Texas’s Department of Radio-Television-Film.
He’s a professor at his alma mater, having been a visiting instructor there since 2015.
Matthew will be teaching a script-to-screen film production class and developed the course curriculum himself.
The university said his appointment recognised his “outstanding work as a teacher and mentor” and that he was respected for his “willingness to work with students beyond the classroom”.
The script-to-screen class details how his films got made so students could be covering everything from Dallas Buyers Club to Failure to Launch.
That is going to be one laid-back, bongo playing class...
Social Media Smut
Last night, we overheard the most intense conversation at this resort where a couple was debating a caption for an Instagram post. The woman wanted her husband to write " the love of my life" and the husband... didn't. At all. And the combination of the conversation and tension and the intensity and weight of what a public declaration of love means in this age of social media and the things that were going unsaid between the two of them was all so heartbreaking and overwhelming that I started to cry. But then the waiter brought me this giagantic drink that was beautiful and delicious and I started laughing. And Marc took my picture. This drink is the love of my life.