THERE’S a panda in Berlin zoo which is absolutely, definitely, 85 per cent pregnant. Better yet, Meng Meng is 85 per cent likely to give birth in coming weeks.
The head of the reproduction management department at the Leibniz Institute for Zoo and Wildlife Research says Meng Meng has been showing signs of pregnancy since April but has cautioned that phantom pregnancies are common in giant pandas.
Panda cubs are so tiny that it’s no wonder they can’t quite tell whether there’s one in there or not.
Footage of Meng Meng’s ultrasound proves one thing, Meng Meng 100 per cent has her head screwed on. She’s lying on her back in her pen while one servant feeds her tasty snacks and another runs the ultra sound machine across her tummy in what looks like a soothing pre-massage ritual.
With things only 85 per cent certain for Meng Meng, Sleb Safari was thrilled to find out about one old-school celebrity giving it 100 per cent.
Step forward Mr Leo Sayer and a story from his time in the Big Brother house.
Leo – the man responsible for 1970s’ hits such as When I Need You and You Make Me Feel Like Dancing – entered the Celebrity Big Brother house in 2007. It was a horrible series of CBB with racism and bullying on display from Jade Goody, Danielle Lloyd and Jo O'Meara who singled out Shilpa Shetty.
On day three singer Donny Tourette climbed over a garden wall to leave the show and two days later director Ken Russell asked if he too could be excused.
One other housemate also chose to leave and went all out for a dramatic exit. Hi Leo!
Dermot O’Leary spilled the beans in a Channel 4 documentary on Jade Goody who was diagnosed with cervical cancer a year after the show and died seven months later.
Having watched Donny and Ken make good their escape, Leo went one better.
Annoyed that Big Brother would not provide him with fresh underwear, Leo grabbed a broom or a mop – reports vary – and forced his way through a door in the diary room.
According to Dermot, security guards tried to placate Leo but he was having none of it and wanted the police involved.
At that time Big Brother and The Bill were filmed next door to each other and there was a fleet of pretend police cars lined up and Leo hopped into one and refused to budge.
Over to you Dermot: "And then he sat there and said, 'I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the police'. And then the exec [producer] said, 'Leo, that's not a real police car'."
That sounds absolutely, definitely, like 85 per cent thunder in his heart and 15 per cent full-body humiliation.
George Michael's house has been sold and some people aren't happy
The Daily Mirror has brought us news of division in the George Michael fan club following the sale of the house in which he died at Christmas 2016.
According to the newspaper, George’s family sold Mill Cottage for £3.4 million last month and the new owners have moved in.
Lawyer John Reid, who acts for George’s family and estate, told the Mirror: “We can confirm that we have now sold George’s former home in Goring-on-Thames.
“It was a place that he loved, not least for the privacy that it afforded him.
“We would therefore kindly ask that the new owners have their privacy respected and are able to enjoy the property as he did.”
The paper reports that “fans were divided” by the news.
One woman wrote about her feelings in a fan forum.
“Am I the only one who feels upset? His soul was in that house.”
Another fan commented: “It feels like we’ve lost George Michael once again.”
Sleb Safari’s sympathies go to the people who bought the house. Probably best if they disconnect the doorbell.
Competition Winners
Congratulations to the winners of tickets to the Belfast One-Way Edit fashion show in Belfast City Hall this Saturday.
Annie Mary Conway from Magherafelt
Paula Meighan from Glengormley
Joy Griffin from Dromore
Vera O’Hagan from Loughgall
Andy McGucken from Cookstown
Have fun!
