Sleb Safari: Gemma Collins wants to collaborate with David Attenborough

Watch out David Attenborough, Gemma Collins is coming for ya

LOOK out David Attenborough, someone’s coming for your crown and when the GC sets her mind to something you can bet she’s like a terrier digging up the bone it buried in the flower bed last week.

Gemma Collins wants to do her bit in the great big conservation movement after going whale watching, or possibly dolphin watching, on holiday last week.

Gemma captured the sighting on video and posted it on Instagram with the caption: “The most MAGICAL MAGNIFICENT moment we must look after our beautiful animals and treasure them LET them BE FREE.

“@David_attenborough please let me come on your next ADVENTURE. FREE all animals let them be in their NATURAL HABITAT and be happy SAY NO to animals in captivity.”

Then the conservationist asked fans to get in touch if they knew of animal charities she could help by using “my voice to get these animals out of cages”.

“I feel very passionate about this. #respectmotherearth #noplasticwaste,” she concluded.

Her next Instagram post was a picture of her and Arg snorkelling which she helpfully captioned with the hashtags #savingtheplanet and #happyholidays.

Bet you didn’t realise every time you’ve gone swimming in the sea on holidays that you’ve been #savingtheplanet. You must be feeling very smug right now. Sleb Safari has already totted up all its dips and is composing a letter of self-recommendation for beatification in anticipation of being bumped up the list so that by the time it pops its clogs the application has been approved and they’re just waiting on the nod from the undertaker.

It’s a surprise Gemma didn’t outright propose replacing David Attenborough since reality TV types are scientifically proven to have been born without the self-awareness gene.

The GC’s admiration for the DA is well documented. He came up in conversation when she appeared on Good Morning Britain last month to talk about Dancing on Ice and tried to explain the 'difference' between Gemma and the GC.

“The GC is a very outrageous, very out there, doesn't care what she said or does. She’s very near the mark but says what people haven't got the guts to say,” Gemma began.

"To be honest, I’m out there as well but Gemma prefers to be with her family, her nephew, doing the shop, doing the dinner for Arg. Of a night I’m watching David Attenborough, I’m cooking dinner, putting the washing on."

To be fair Gemma does have extensive experience of the natural world, surviving on her wits in the dog-eat-dog environment of reality TV and possessing a chameleon like understanding of fake tan and make-up.

David Attenborough has travelled to the four corners of the world, which is interesting since the world’s round, and seen things both wondrous and nightmarish but there’s a very good chance he’s never met anyone quite like the GC.

Now that’s a nature programme Sleb Safari would watch.


Line of Duty is back

Line of Duty

FOR the purposes of the tape, Line of Duty starts on Sunday March 31 fella.

Can you tell Sleb Safari is a huge Ted Hastings fan? Huge.

This is the fifth series of the greatest cop show on the telly – well, joint first alongside Happy Valley and Scott & Bailey. Might this be the one when we find out the identity of H, the bent copper? Please, please, please don’t let it be Ted. Please.


Hat tip to Taylor Schilling

Taylor Schilling

Orange Is The New Black actor Taylor Schilling has been answering questions in The Times’ What I’ve learnt column and it transpires she is a wise lady.

“There has never been a moment where I felt I had arrived. I think there is this inbuilt human flaw that when something good comes to us, it doesn’t satisfy us for long.

“When Orange Is the New Black became successful, there were 10 minutes when it felt like I was in this dream before I began asking myself questions: how can I continue this? What can I do next? How can I continue working? I did not ‘arrive’.

“Orange changed my life and opened a portal to a world that I didn’t even know existed, which is wild. But that’s definitely not arriving.”

Sleb Safari tips its hat to Taylor for sounding as though she has a lot of things figured out.


Social Media Smut


Hey @jennifer.garner! Can we raise our imaginary babies together?

A post shared by Reese Witherspoon (@reesewitherspoon) on

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