Sleb Safari: Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin are in Vogue and in love

Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin

FIVE months after Sleb Safari’s favourite misplacer of monkeys wed its third-favourite Baldwin the happy couple have bestowed an interview on Vogue.

Justin Bieber (former owner of Mally the monkey) and Hailey Baldwin tied the knot in double quick time and, judging by the interview, he’s depending on her always providing the stability he craves and she… she’s hoping that with enough love, prayer, therapy and determination they can live happily ever after.

The Vogue interview is an eye opener. Justin’s contribution and that of a pastor who has known him since childhood offer an insight into the mucked-up world of celebrity. One story Justin tells involves a week-long group-therapy retreat he fled before Christmas.

“There were these séances,” he explains. “Or not really séances but these traditions. They light candles, and it kind of freaked me out. You sit on a mat, you put a pillow down, and you beat your past out of it. I beat the fact that my mom was depressed a lot of my life and my dad has anger issues. Stuff that they passed on that I’m kind of mad they gave me.”

Sleb Safari imagines it isn’t alone in looking at Justin in a whole new and, let’s be honest, more sympathetic light after that.

Pastor Judah Smith offers this take: “He gives a lot to the world, and a lot has been taken from him, including a bit of the natural progression of development, the chance to grow relationally and socially. He can feel everything, and that’s from those years spent wondering who in the room is being authentic with him.

"His spider sense is remarkable, but it haunts him a bit. He’ll notice people’s eyebrow movements. I get emotional now, watching him make a great effort to care about the people around him when the last decade of his life was lived in a glass box.”

How could his emotional development not be obstructed by having been catapulted to global fame at age 13?

Justin is 24 and his wife 22 and for some inexplicable reason they’ve decided to brand their marriage as hard work.

“... I’m fighting to do this the right way, to build a healthy relationship,” Hailey says. “I want people to know that. We’re coming from a really genuine place. But we’re two young people who are learning as we go. I’m not going to sit here and lie and say it’s all a magical fantasy. It’s always going to be hard. It’s a choice. You don’t feel it every single day. You don’t wake up every day saying, ‘I’m absolutely so in love and you are perfect.’ That’s not what being married is.”

Oh boy, you absolutely should be waking up every morning feeling that way when you’ve been married as short a time as these two.

“But there’s something beautiful about it anyway – about wanting to fight for something, commit to building with someone,” Hailey continues.

“We’re really young, and that’s a scary aspect. We’re going to change a lot. But we’re committed to growing together and supporting each other in those changes. That’s how I look at it. At the end of the day, too, he’s my best friend. I never get sick of him.”

They’re young, they’re facing challenges, they’re working through things they should have tackled before they got married but that’s their choice and they sound like they’re prepared to put in whatever work they think they need. You’d have to have a very cold heart not to wish them the best of luck.

Wise Words From Pink

Pink poses with her husband Carey Hart, and children Willow Sage, left, and Jameson at a ceremony honoring Pink with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on February 5 2019, in Los Angeles. Picture by Phil McCarten/Invision/AP

Pink has been honoured with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame which, fyi, is an entirely different thing from the Hollywood Walk of Shame or indeed the Holywood Walk of Shame.

Anywaaaaaaaaay… Pink had something important to say at the ceremony.

“Today for me is a celebration of something that my dad taught me and that is – to thine own self be true.

“There is a power in believing in yourself, there is a power in not giving up on life and on not giving up on yourself and there’s a power in making a decision that while you may not be the best that ever did it, you may not be the prettiest, or the tallest or the funniest or the most talented or whatever it is you tell yourself you’re not, if you’re stubborn and you don’t give up and you work really hard, no-one else can ever be you.”

Too true, our uniqueness is what’s interesting about us.

Billy Eichner's On The Street And On The Big Screen

Billy Eichner

PRETTY big news from Hollywood with confirmation that Billy Eichner, he of Billy on the Street fame, is writing and starring in a rom-com about a same-sex couple.

It’s ridiculous that in 2019 that the portrayal of same-sex relationships are the exception rather than the norm.

Judd Apatow has thrown his weight behind the film which is a big endorsement. Sleb Safari is looking forward to seeing the finished product.

Social Media Smut

Can you believe My Best Friend's Wedding came out 22 years ago? Entertainment Weekly got the cast together for a rom-com reunion.

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