Sleb Safari: Animal tails for humans are a thing now

WE TURN our attention this week to Tell Tails, the wearable animal tails for humans.

Tell Tails caters for all tastes and every occasion where tail wearing is appropriate which, if you have to ask, is everywhere, at all times. There are kids’ tails, adults tails, festival tails and ski tails, because why not?

The company’s Twitter account is festooned with pictures of people proudly waggling their tails, including someone sporting a dinosaur tail on the ski slope and Helena Bonham Carter wearing a cat tail to what looks like a premier or awards ceremony.

Helena has worked with the company to create a bespoke tail because, as she says, “we adults often forget to play in life. I’ve always liked tails. If you wear a tail people smile, laugh, they find it fun”.

It’s creating the unexpected that’s important in life.”

You’re right Helena, why should anyone’s posterior feel inferior? Truth be told, when attached, the majestic HBC tail makes its human look like they’re auditioning for the musical Cats, in the best possible sense.

Spoiler alert: Wearing an animal tail will neither turn you into that creature nor bestow upon you its characteristics. You won’t have the heart of a lion, the cunning of a fox or a cat’s nine lives.

Helena Bonham Carter and her fluffy feline tail is a new addition the range alongside the unicorn tail. Picture from Tell Tails

And now for the science bit. According to the company, its tails can be bent, curled and squashed into a suitcase if needs be. They are attached to an elastic waistband, are one size fits all and “can be worn with any outfit”.

A wedding dress and lemur tail could be a stretch though, don’t you think?

If you’ve ordered a fluffy tail – we’re talking fox, cat, wolf and lemur here – you’ll want to give it a bit of a comb and then zhush it up with the hairdryer to restore it to peak authenticity and ensure members of the public don’t think you’ve sat on roadkill.

For those who fancy trying an animal tail on for size, an adult croc tail will set you back £28 and a kid’s glow-in-the-dark dinosaur tail retails at £26. If that’s significantly more than you care to invest in your accoutrement a tiger tail will only cost you £18.

Alternatively you could cut a leg off a pair of black tights and stuff it to create your own, nearly no cost definitely low cost, cat’s tail. Go to town with four pairs of black tights and you could be a spider.

No need to thank Sleb Safari, it lives to serve.


Golden Girls' dolls are miles better than Barbie

Picture from @brooklynvegan on Instagram

SINCE hearing Sophia Petrillo utter the immortal words “Picture it, Sicily, 1922” Sleb Safari has always wanted to visit Sicily. How about you? Were you a fan of The Golden Girls? If so Sleb Safari has some wonderful news for you. Are you sitting down? Good, here goes; you can now buy action figures of Dorothy, Blanche, Rose and Sophia.

The figures are eight inches tall and dressed in clothes which you’ll be very familiar with. Dorothy’s in a voluminous cardigan coat and Sophia is wearing a sensible blue dress with a white lace collar.

You can buy all four ladies for the princely sum of $114.99 or £87. Go on, treat yo’self.


Blue Ivy living her best yacht life

Would you look at Blue Ivy on her summer vacay? She's on a yacht no less, wearing swimwear nicer than anything Sleb Safari has in its wardrobe for 'dressy' occasions. Look at the sunglasses and the mocktail she's enjoying in the deck pool. And the accessories on that bikini top. Exquisite.


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