Life

Sleb Safari: Amal Clooney and Meghan Markle are BFFs

Best buds Amal Clooney and Meghan Markle

SLEB Safari greets you this week with a toss of its hair and a jaunty walk. Having forgotten what it’s like to wear sandals due to a seemingly never-ending winter Sleb Safari is still growing accustomed to walking in flat flats. That’s right, Sleb Safari is walking as a pony might, were it taking part in trials for the Olympics dressage team.

That said, Sleb Safari is not complaining. One must grab summer by the lapels and give it a great big smooch whenever it presents itself because summer is a fickle lover; easily bored, prone to wander.

What summer really needs is blinkers. Perhaps with fewer distractions it would hang around a little bit longer. Sleb Safari will consult the Olympic equestrian coach and see if she can spare a pair.

In the meantime summer means ice lollies, more (but different) rows about the office air con, factor 50, ironing linen (is there a more pointless exercise?), hay fever and ice lollies. Did Sleb Safari mention the ice lollies?

If you’re overheating just thinking about it, spare a thought for people living in cities who have to commute in 30+ degrees for all of July and August; people who’d give anything to feel a cool breeze through an open window.

That’s right, Sleb Safari is talking about Amal Clooney and Meghan Suffolk nee Markle who have a long hot London summer ahead of them.

Thankfully they have each other and that alone should make summer 2018 bearable. Wait. you didn’t know they were best friends? Oh yes, a source told People magazine so it must be true.

“Meghan and Amal have known each other for a while [and share] many interests,” the source told People. “Amal has been helping Meghan settle into London life. It was a very natural friendship from day one.”

So natural that Amal gave Meghan her hairdresser’s number.

"Yes, I do Meghan's hair. I do Amal's, and Meghan is friends with her," Miguel Martin-Perez told the Mail on Sunday.

"Amal put Meghan and me together when she moved here. I do her colour, her cut and her styling."

The ladies have the same hairdresser so of course they’re firm friends. Absolutely. Sleb Safari is in a giant WhatsApp group with everyone from its hair salon, Get The Snip. The craic is 90. Sleb Safari is godmother to 212 children and has been bridesmaid 286 times. Honestly. Would a dressage pony lie to you?

Sleb Safari acknowledges, begrudgingly, that Amal and Meghan do have a few things in common, other than Miguel.

For starters both are married to insanely rich men with makey-uppey jobs.

And both have become more famous than their husband by dint of being themselves.

Granted, one is a human rights lawyer and the other a former actress and activist whose primary role now is to wear shiny tights no matter the weather.

That right there would have been a deal breaker for a lot of people, Hot Harry or no Hot Harry.

So Sleb Safari wishes Amal and Meghan an ice lolly filled summer 2018 and suggests Meghan puts oil on her legs to mimic the sheen of those tights, that way St John Ambulance volunteers won’t spend the entire summer in a panic wondering if this is the garden party where Meghan will finally succumb to heat stroke.

 

Jeff Goldblum is one heck of a stylish man

Jeff Goldblum is the only man in the world who can wear a white polo neck. Fact.

 

 

Fancy a pair of fanny pack sliders?

Ladies and gentlemen, the ultimate summer sandal

IN THE first of a new series on things you didn't know you needed in your life, allow Sleb Safari to show you what Nike have made. They're fanny pack flip flops or bum bag flip flops, depending which side of the Atlantic you call home. Would you look at them? They’re ridiculous but amazing.

The ultimate summer sandal is available in lime green/blue, pink/black, and black but if deciding between them is bringing you out in hives why not buy a pair in every colour. They’re a tiny bag and a slider all in one. How perfect.

Now when you're going for a stroll along the beach you can pop your front door key and ice cream money in there and you're all set. Just don't wear them to paddle.

 

Social Media Smut

Elle Fanning on Instagram

It's bring your mom to work day on the #Maleficent2 set!!!!!

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