Sleb Safari: Gemma Collins' rules for living your best life
THE last time we visited Towie stalwart Gemma Collins she had fallen through a trapdoor at a teen awards show.
The GC was twirling around on stage after announcing the winner of the best TV show award when the trapdoor opened to let cast members from the aforementioned show make a grand entrance.
Too busy twirling and mouthing “You ain’t ever gonna get this candy” to notice what was going on around her, the GC tumbled through the trapdoor and onto the actors and, in her own words, “wiped them out”.
There are manifold reasons for today’s return visit to Essex and, to be even more exact, to the Gemma Collins Boutique.
The GC has confirmed that she’s appearing on the new series of Celebrity MasterChef alongside Spencer Matthews, Chizzy Akudolu, Carol Decker (for goodness sake, keep her away from the china), John Partridge, Frankie Bridge, AJ Pritchard, Keith Allen and others; very very many others.
What John Torrode and Gregg Wallace will make of the GC is anyone’s guess but Sleb Safari cannot wait to see how she handles the heat.
Gemma also has a new fashion range with Boohoo called GC x Boohoo which “fits amazing and makes you feel amazing”.
She’s been in Marbs showcasing the swimwear and Sleb Safari’s absolute favourite is the fuschia swimsuit with Candy written in shiny silver capitals across the chest.
While there the self-appointed queen of Marbs has been doling out life advice left, right and centre.
She set the scene gently yet effectively with a musical reference.
“If there was a soundtrack to sum up my life – it would have to be Glam by Fergie. G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S- Glamorous! That’s how I like to live my life.”
Then she got serious.
“The life advice I live by is don’t ever let anyone tell you your hair is too big, that’s so negative you don’t need people like that in your life!”
That anyone would tell the GC her hair was too big is an abomination. How dare they? And who exactly do they think they are? Gemma’s right; negativity like that needs culled.
Gemma continued: “And secondly don’t let anyone put you down. You know you’re amazing, you have to tell yourself that every day and positive vibes always.”
She’s right, you know. Big hair and positive vibes will get you through most situations. Really, that might well be the best advice Sleb Safari has heard in a very long time. Thanks GC.
Happy Belated Birthday David Beckham
SLEB Safari is a week or so late but the happiest of birthdays to David Beckham.
David turned 43 in real life and on social media and shared a touching video of the moment when eldest son Brooklyn surprised him by flying home from New York and walking into the restaurant where the rest of the family were celebrating.
Among the raft of birthday gifts David received was a £5,000 Louis Vuitton wine case containing two crystal glasses, courtesy of daughter Harper Seven who is, confusingly, six.
What exquisite taste in one so young. Must take after her mum.
Sleb Safari has long been fascinated by the birthday gifts of the rich and famous. It must be a nightmare choosing something. If Sleb Safari was a Beckham or a Pinkett Smith it would expect something stratospheric for every birthday. A tall ship for a run of the mill birthday and a flamboyance of flamingos for a big birthday. Minimum.
The winners of tickets to Bay City Rollers with Les McKeown at the May in the Marquee Festival at Glenarm Castle are Mary Patterson from Cloughmills, Martin Birt from Maghera, Therese Gorman from Lisburn, Kirsten Walker from Ballymoney and Eveleen McCurry from Cushendall. Have fun!