Life

Anne Hailes: Viagra available over the counter means new hope for one in five men

The impact of erectile dysfunction can be substantial to both parties in a relationship
The impact of erectile dysfunction can be substantial to both parties in a relationship The impact of erectile dysfunction can be substantial to both parties in a relationship

THE news that Viagra is now available over the counter will give both men and women a reason to be hopeful. With an estimated one man in five experiencing erectile dysfunction (ED) 50 per cent of them between 40 and 75, the impact can be substantial to both parties in a relationship. It’s a heartbreaking situation but not only for the man because wives and partners also suffer.

Then there’s the humiliating jokes in the pub, ‘No lead in your pencil’, and 'Can’t get it up’. I’m told by one man that he just laughs and jokes back but it affects him deeply especially when it comes to questions about family and the difficulty of conceiving.

It’s a shame because there is so much that can be done to help but it’s not always easy to bring about the conversation. It’s what medics sometimes call a ‘door handle’ condition – the man will attend the doctor for some minor problem and when the gets to the door he turns and says, “By the way, while I’m here...”

OVER THE COUNTER

What might make it easier is the fact that for the first time Viagra is available over the counter although it’s not just a case of walking in, handing over the money and leaving with the box.

In layman’s language, the pill stimulates blood flow, and because of this pharmacists have been put through an information session so they understand the intricacies of this drug and can then question the customer about his medical history, especially concentrating on heart and diabetes conditions, as impotence might be a sign of underlying health problems.

Depending on the answers, the pills will be dispensed or he will be referred to a doctor. There are a number of medications available other than Viagra, which is a trade name. A doctor can recommend what’s most suitable for his patient and talk them through any possible side effects.

Just to keep trying without help is exhausting as ED can be reflected in every aspect of life, especially self-esteem at work, at home and in social life. Mental, physical and emotional problems pile up.

NOT ONLY FOR MEN

For a woman, there are feelings of rejection and confusion and she will often ask the question: “Is it me?”

Some think their man is having an affair because he isn’t interested in making love, let alone having sex – and there is a difference. One woman tells me she thought her husband was gay because he literally turned his back on her and would stay out late until she was in bed and asleep.

She was never asleep, she said – she was usually crying into her pillow. She even went to the extent of asking a gay friend to find out for her. Turned out he wasn’t interested in a gay lifestyle, which caused even more confusion.

“It’s not a case of buying sexy nighties and underwear, it just doesn’t work so obviously I thought I wasn’t attractive.”

She’s only 35, has one child and a lot to live for and the situation has caused a vicious circle of emotions. She has broached the subject of seeing a doctor but he won’t discuss the situation.

Sadly she felt she had to discover if she was at fault.

“I took a lover, well not actually a lover I suppose, just a man I knew who was always attentive and with him I discovered I was a very desirable woman but that led to more problems.”

She didn’t tell me any more.

IN THE MOOD

The drawback with Viagra is that the man has to be ‘in the mood’ rather than just pop a pill at bedtime and wait for results. This means being able to get ‘loved-up’ to achieve the best effects for both parties.

I asked two pharmacists did they have a lot of men seeking Viagra but they say there hasn’t been a rush although that might change with more publicity. Both told me they would rather go to the doctor for a prescription than have to go through a list of their ailments and personal details with the pharmacist but agreed that buying over the counter in a well-regulated procedure is certainly wiser than buying from an online company.

Sourcing on the internet is not recommended, as there is no way of knowing the safety of the product you are buying. Safer to visit the chemist; in one Belfast pharmacy I was quoted £19.95 for four Viagra tablets.

Advice is talk about your ED to someone you trust – your partner, wife or a valued friend, although the doctor is the key person: he or she will have plenty of advice and alternative products rather than turning to pornography or to non-prescription drugs that are not recommended by a GP.

In the meantime, if possible, concentrate on intimacy through closeness, being tactile and loving.

FACELIFT A FAMILY AFFAIR

THEY reckoned their school was looking a little the worse for winter wear and as there was no money for a facelift, they decided to do it themselves.

Glynn Robinson was a pupil, so was his father and the rest of his family and now his niece Tayla attends Ballynahinch Primary School so no wonder he has a very special interest, to the extent he is abseiling down the face of the Europa Hotel on Sunday.

Why? Glynn is caretaker at the 250-pupil school and he and his colleagues are raising money to paint the interior of the building.

“We’ve had a new roof put on by the education authorities so now we want to brighten up the the rest of the school.” Simple as that.

So there’s a big demand for ‘antique white’ in and around the area and weekends and holidays are spoken for until the pupils have the surrounding they deserve.

“The children here are exceptional, they work hard and get excellent results in their exams, some in the top 3 per cent in Northern Ireland so this facelift will really bring light into an already bright school.”