Life

Lynette Fay: Life's too short for wedding day worries

The clocks have sprung forward, April is here, the weather is still terrible and wedding season is upon us. Irish weddings are exceptional experiences. I was at a Tyrone wedding last week. We know how to party at a wedding. I’ll get to the partying and the jiving later

Lynette Fay

Lynette Fay

Lynette is an award winning presenter and producer, working in television and radio. Hailing from Dungannon, Co Tyrone, she is a weekly columnist with The Irish News.

Whoever coined the term Bridezilla deserves a medal
Whoever coined the term Bridezilla deserves a medal Whoever coined the term Bridezilla deserves a medal

IF A religious ceremony is involved, that means a very early start, well for us women, especially in this age of beauty, hair, make-up appointments (which must be made months in advance).

I leave all preparation to the last minute. I sometimes wonder if I’m female at all, given that I think that more than an hour spent getting ready for anything is precious time of your life that you can’t get back.

Some women obsess over what they’ll wear to a wedding. I don’t subscribe to that at all.

In my late 20s, I went to 10 weddings in one year, and was very excited by the prospect of each one. Each friend getting married was a different personality and with different personalities come different experiences for the guests.

I believe that the attitude of the bride sets the tone for the day. One of my best friends got married abroad and her make-up artist didn’t turn up to do her wedding make-up. This same friend couldn’t have cared less. She was determined not to let anything annoy her on her wedding day.

I firmly believe that her relaxed demeanour set the tone. We had a blast.

Whoever coined the term Bridezilla deserves a medal. Weddings can be very political – who gets invited, who doesn’t. Seating plans have the potential to be explosive. I don’t know how anyone successfully puts these together without tearing their hair out. It’s impossible to please everyone.

I remember going to a wedding in Carlingford years ago and there were 80 people at it. In my 20s, I thought this to be very small. Now, if I’m honest, I think that it’s too big.

Speeches are potentially explosive aren’t they? I’ve witnessed one Best Man’s speech which went down like a lead balloon, despite his best efforts to be high tech – he delivered a power point presentation.

My favourite speech of all time was my uncle’s, speaking at my cousin’s wedding. His 'speech' was two sentences long. That’s the way to do it.

I have been at a couple of great weddings in recent months. Last Monday’s included. We arrived very late, not realising that the ceremony was going to last two hours! Childish giggles in the chapel ensued.

A pit-stop on the way to the reception for coffee and a quick bite, then off to Donegal. Great company at the table, a relaxed atmosphere and the minute the band started to play, the dancefloor filled and remained like this until the end of the evening.

No matter what, Proud Mary never fails, and the jiving music always goes down extremely well. I have never been to a city wedding. I wonder what they do differently? Rave? I seriously doubt there would be much jiving included!

I spent a very enjoyable evening with two of my best friends last year, ahead of their wedding day. We put the playlist for their reception together. There was everything in there from U2 to The Rolling Stones, The Foundations to AC/DC.

And did we dance!

It was blowing a gale last Monday, the weather was terrible. Hats off to the bride and groom, they didn’t let that annoy them or ruin their day. Why should they? They had been preparing for this day for months.

I do wonder if the preparation and stress is all worth it. One of my cousins will get married later this year. There will be well over 400 people in attendance and a lot of fuss and stress in the build-up.

One of my closest cousins who lives in New York took a different approach. He and his wife to be told their parents the night before that they were getting married. Off they went to City Hall the next day and exchanged vows.

For me, there’s beauty in this simple approach. I enjoy a good wedding as much as anyone, as long as I’m not the one organising it! There was a time when the idea of The Big Day was appealing.

I don’t see the need anymore.