Life

Lynette Fay: Why is our society still so afraid of the female of the species?

Not being a mother doesn’t make you any less a woman. I am not a mother, but find that at the age of 40, I am finally finding my inner strength and voice. For some reason, it does take time for women to develop confidence, which is why society needs female leaders and trailblazers

Lynette Fay

Lynette Fay

Lynette is an award winning presenter and producer, working in television and radio. Hailing from Dungannon, Co Tyrone, she is a weekly columnist with The Irish News.

<span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">A woman takes part in a march in Santiago, Chile, on Thursday,&nbsp;</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">International Women's Day</span><br style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;" /><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">Picture: Esteban Felix/AP</span>
A woman takes part in a march in Santiago, Chile, on Thursday, Inte A woman takes part in a march in Santiago, Chile, on Thursday, International Women's Day
Picture: Esteban Felix/AP

THURSDAY was International Women’s Day. The United Nations began celebrating International Women’s Day in 1975. Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Two days this week to celebrate women – and why not?

Usually, I am quite allergic to specific days of the year on which particular celebrations or feelings are expected. Christmas – everyone must be happy; NYE – we must go out and party; Valentine’s Day – embrace romance in all its forms. I feel nauseous.

The celebration of women, however, is something else entirely, and it’s a celebration I embrace and would encourage everyone to do the same.

Let’s start with Mother's Day. I am the product of a matriarchal family. My mummy and granny are determined women, very hard workers who have shown an awful lot of strength and resilience throughout their lives, all in order to provide a support network for their families.

Mummy is a force of nature – anyone who knows Brenda knows that. She’s a self-made businesswoman, creatively gifted, very caring and does far too much for everyone. She is definitely the backbone of our family and there for us all – through the terrible twos, the tantrums, the growing pains, the life decisions.

The apple didn’t fall from the tree; Granny was the very same. I was her shadow for many years. Now in her 90th year, Nora still possesses the ability to stop us in our tracks and make us think, and equally, she can have everyone laughing at her words of wisdom.

I went to all-girls primary and secondary schools. I remain very close to a small group of girls I met in The Academy. Aeveen, Mairéad, Camíla. We have shared many life experiences which have glued us together; there have been laughs and tears. Each one of them has a unique outlook on life. They are wise. They are now all brilliant mothers, and my sisters.

Amid the celebration, it’s important to remember that Mother's Day is a tough day for anyone who is missing their mother, anyone who wants to be a mother, anyone who can’t be a mother.

Not being a mother doesn’t make you any less a woman. I am not a mother, but find that at the age of 40, I am finally finding my inner strength and voice. For some reason, it does take time for women to develop confidence, which is why society needs female leaders and trailblazers.

I remember someone commenting to me once that teaching was a great profession for a woman and further qualifying the statement with "because she could spend the holidays with the children".

I was puzzled. Growing up in our house, Mummy always encouraged me to try whatever I wanted. Nothing was ever gender specific. My skills and talents were nurtured. This support is the reason why I am who I am today. I know I was lucky.

We have had two female presidents, Mary Robinson and Mary McAleese; we have female sportswomen who show exceptional leadership; we have female business leaders, female broadcasters who are breaking through the glass ceiling.

Yet, gender inequality is sadly, prevalent in our society. Why so afraid of the female of the species?

Celebrating women doesn’t mean hating men, by the way. Not at all. I know a lot of men who are more feminist in their attitudes than some women are. I have huge respect and admiration for men who hold this viewpoint.

Calls for equality are also too often referred to as ‘women whinging’. Changing perceptions remains a huge challenge.

Recently, the Irish singer Karan Casey announced from the stage of Liberty Hall in Dublin that it was time that female musicians in Ireland were shown fair play. She was the only female among 20 men that night.

There is no shortage of female musicians in the country. By empowering herself in that moment, a number of other female musicians have come together to form a group called Fair Plé. The mission statement is simple – ‘Fair Plé aims to achieve gender balance in the production, performance, promotion and development of Irish traditional and folk music. We advocate for equal opportunity and balanced representation for all. Fair folk; fair trad; fair plé."

When I was younger, I didn’t understand the necessity of International Women’s Day. Now older, I understand that it is absolutely necessary. Unfortunately.

We need to take stock, look what has been achieved, what has yet to be done, and where we are going, and try to encourage and empower the next generations. Sláinte na mban agus go mairfidh siad.