Life

Sleb Safari: Lionel Richie makes rookie error in calling daughter Sofia's relationship with Scott Disick 'a phase'

Lionel Richie, when life was simple

CAN somebody please take Lionel Richie aside and explain to him what he’s done wrong? Sleb Safari would, but the last time it got close enough to chat to Lionel security stepped in and had Sleb Safari removed from the venue.

Lionel’s 19-year-old daughter Sofia is dating Scott Disick which is bad enough in itself but of extra concern to Lionel is Scott’s date of birth.

The lord, as Scott charmingly refers to himself, is 34 years young but there’s every chance he’s less mature than his girlfriend.

 

I’m on a whole new year vibe

A post shared by Scott Disick (@letthelordbewithyou) on

Lionel is as always touring the world, giving interviews and being a legend.

He's already raised a daughter and son so it's not his first time at the rodeo yet he made a rookie error when asked about Sofia’s relationship in an interview with The Daily Telegraph newspaper in Australia.

"She's 19. When you’re 19 you know everything,” Lionel said, warming up to the theme.

“Is it going to be for life? I don’t know. But for right now it’s just a phase and I’m going to stand real still in the corner, get me a good drink and not make too much noise.”

Lionel, you daft eejit. This is a red rag to a bull. You’re not standing in the corner getting quietly sozzled and waiting for this fresh hell to pass, you’re telling the world, and your 19-year-old daughter, that her relationship is a phase. No-one wants to hear their relationship described as a phase, least of all an adult. Sofia’s going to be mad AF.

Lionel added that “from what I met of him” Scott seems like “a very nice guy” which sounds like they once exchanged a wave across a car park.

 

Richie

A post shared by Sofia Richie (@sofiarichie) on

Then he shared his real thoughts.

“When you hang around the reality world, who knows what you are really doing? This is a well-oiled machine, the Kardashian machine. I don’t really know what to think. I told Sofia I will have no opinion. I’ll continue to be my cheerful self and move on.”

No opinion he says. Lol.

Then like every dad ever who realises he's said too much Lionel frantically backpeddled and offered up a story from his own yoof.

"I know what my parents meant when I came through the door with my Afro and my girlfriend and said ‘Dad, I’m in love’ and [he] looked at me and said ‘OK, we’re going to leave you alone for a minute and you’ll figure it out.’ My daughter is getting me back for my Afro days!”

Lionel, Lionel, Lionel. This relationship could have been dead in the water in no time but now that you’ve called it a phase you’ve guaranteed at least one uncomfortable dinner with the lord, his hangers on and your besotted daughter. You won’t make that mistake again.

 

Ryan Reynolds buys a gin company

CONGRATULATIONS to Ryan Reynolds on acquiring a gin company called Aviation Gin. To Sleb Safari’s mind that conjures up thoughts of jet fuel which, if you pinch your nose, might go delightfully with Fever Tree Mediterranean Tonic.

Ryan says he’s tried “every gin on the planet” and this one is “hands down, the best”.

Either way we wish Ryan all the best and assure him he’s in esteemed company since Channing Tatum has a vodka company and Jay-Z owns a stake in Armand de Brignac Champagne. Slainte!

 

Mary Berry's contentious avocado stance

MARY Berry isn’t someone you associate with inflammatory remarks but she has stirred up a hornet’s nest with some pretty contentious comments about avocado. Yes, avocado – the thing that’s stopping young people from buying houses because they’re too busy spending their deposit on smashed avo on toast. As if.

Mary shared her thoughts with Radio Times on everyone's favourite brunch.

“It’s very fashionable now to prepare avocado on toast. I can remember when we didn’t have them at all – now they’re everywhere. But this isn’t one of the nicest things to do with them. Better to add them to a prawn cocktail or to a little plate of smoked salmon or shrimps.”

Well, Twitter nearly flipped inside out with indignation. For a hot second Mary Berry was public enemy number one. Sleb Safari hopes she enjoyed being a thoroughly bad egg for the first time in her life.

Social Media Smut

 

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