Life

Sleb Safari: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez are in love y'all

Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez on the cover of Vanity Fair. Picture from Vanity Fair on Twitter

JENNIFER Lopez, licensed owner of the most peachy bottom in showbiz, is madly in love with her soul mate. Quelle surprise!

J Lo is dating former New York Yankees baseball star Alex Rodriguez and it’s LOVE, all caps.

Jennifer Lopez. Now there’s a lady who loves love. No-one falls as deeply or as quickly in love as Jennifer and conversely no-one bounces back so quickly after the break up.

She’s been married three times and engaged twice more. That’s a lot of effort right there. A lot of leg shaving; a lot of meeting family and friends for the first time; a lot of names to memorise.

She must be addicted to the endorphins.

Sleb Safari will support any woman who decides to up sticks and leave a relationship as she sees fit but at some point in the quagmire of three marriages and two surplus engagements you must question whether you have appalling judgement.

Perhaps Jennifer has it right this time. She’s one half of a powerful Latino couple who both are the children of immigrants so that’s wonderful in the current political climate.

She and A Rod (matching names, already this relationship is off to a flying start) have the cover of the December issue of Vanity Fair and it’s shot by Mario Testino, so you know they look stunning.

Jennifer loses the run of herself pretty quickly in the interview.

“I understand him in a way that I don’t think anyone else could, and he understands me in a way that no one else could ever.”

With that out of the way she deals her previous relationships a nasty blow.

“I’m in a good relationship. I feel like I can say that for the first time – I don’t know – maybe ever.

“And not that I didn’t have great relationships, full of love and adventure, but this is the first relationship I’ve been where I feel like we really make each other better. We complement each other, and there’s really pure, true love.

“Just wanting to support the other person and make them happy. So there’s a different selflessness in the love that’s beautiful and different. And healthy!”

That’s Jennifer, no having to read between the lines, no having to wheedle a quote out of her.

After that it was time for A-Rod to step up to the plate.

“We are very much twins,” he cooed, adding: “We’re both Leos; we’re both from New York; we’re both Latino and about 20 other things.”

But were you born on the same day? Well then…

Jennifer’s not bothered though. She takes his twins metaphor and runs with it:

“In his 20s, he came into big success with the biggest baseball contract [at the time]. I had a No 1 movie and a No 1 album and made history.

"We both had ups and downs and challenges in our 30s, and by our 40s we’d both been through so much. And more importantly than anything, we had both done a lot of work on ourselves.”

Sleb Safari wishes the pair of you all the very best and looks forward to the next instalment from Camp J Rod, population: two, currency: lurve.

 

Millie Bobby Brown has too much energy

 Millie Bobby Brown in Stranger Things

IF ever there was a child who needed to chillax it’s bright as a button Millie Bobby Brown. She’s 13 and already putting the rest of us to shame. Millie stars in Stranger Things on Netflix but thinks she’d like to tackle a Broadway musical because it’s “such a tough kind of routine”.

She has big plans for her downtime too.

“Right now, I just want to focus on helping other people. Working with UNICEF is a really big dream of mine. And hopefully I get to do that in the space of my relaxation. My time off should be dedicated to other people who need help.”

When Sleb Safari is in the space of its relaxation it likes to lie on the sofa with a box of Milk Tray and catch up on a box set. Millie you have totally killed the buzz.

 

Murder On The Orient Express

Sound the film recommendation klaxon because Sleb Safari wants to share some movie newsie with you.

Kenneth Branagh's Murder On the Orient Express is brilliant. It's based on the Agatha Christie novel and Kenneth directs it and stars as Hercules Poirot.

His Poirot is the perfect blend of comedy and pomposity. Bouc, the manager of the luxurious train whose job consists of filling guests' champagne glasses while looking for some company in his cabin, also has some great lines.

The film is set on the lavish train as it journeys through the Alps and the scenery is spectacular. Sleb Safari bets that the first thing you do after seeing the film is Google 'how much is the Orient Express?'.

 

Social Media Smut

 

When your daughter demands you BOTH be ELSA for Halloween...you GRIN AND FORKING BEAR IT. #halloween

A post shared by kristen bell (@kristenanniebell) on

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