Q: The school holidays are driving me crazy. I'm bored of the sound of my own voice, while my children seem to be on a never-ending cycle of bickering, being loud and wanting the moon on a stick. What should I do?'
A: Livvy Gormally, children's behaviour expert and parent coach, mum of three and the founder of Let's Ask Livvy, says:
"During more challenging times, it's very easy to slip into a habit where all we seem to say is 'don't', 'no' or 'stop'! Knowing how to break this cycle is a good tip for everyday life and not just holiday times.
"The key is to really focus on (or sometimes seek out) the positives. Praise and reward the good things the kids do – all the times they did listen, they did share and they were playing nicely together. By focusing on the positives, you give the kids a clear message of what behaviours you like to see and the more attention you give to the positive behaviours, the more the positive behaviours will increase. If more attention is given to inappropriate behaviour, it is those behaviours that you will see increasing.
"During the holidays, when there is more time to play – we assume that the play will be reward in itself. But play can be hard. Staying on task, knowing and keeping to the rules, taking turns, listening to others and working collaboratively are not skills that come without effort. Add into the mix a bit of sibling rivalry and it's easy to see how play can breakdown quite quickly.
"Reward systems that focus on the behaviours you want to encourage can be really effective, and are also a helpful visual reminder for parents or carers to focus on the behaviours they want to promote.''
