Sleb Safari: Sinitta's Celebrity Big Brother rider takes the biscuit
AS A rule of thumb Sleb Safari doesn’t watch anything on TV with the words 'Big Brother', 'Island' or 'Sex Box' in the title and has suffered no ill effects – or at least none that it is aware of.
It did, however, guffaw at an interview with Sinitta in OK! Magazine in which she discussed the rider she had given to the makers of Celebrity Big Brother when asked to participate in this summer’s series of the show.
On the off-chance you are unfamiliar with Sinitta’s ouevre, here’s Our Graham with a quick reminder: Sinitta was an 80s pop star who dated Brad Pitt and then high-waisted media mogul Simon Cowell, and has been known to appear on The X Factor wearing a bikini made from a few palm leaves.
Do email if Sleb Safari has left anything out.
Sinitta told OK! that she had "asked for a few things that would make it nice", which sounds entirely acceptable – yet for some inexplicable reason "there have been complaints".
Upon further investigation it transpires that the "few things" were a few quite big things.
"I’ve given them my rider, but there have been complaints," she told the magazine.
"I just asked for a few things that would make it nice because they’ve asked me every year and I’ve always said no. But if these things could happen, then I could do it."
And here’s the list:
"If I last more than halfway, I want my puppy to visit me. I want a swearing ban, because I don't swear and people shouldn’t be allowed to swear at me or around me.
"I asked for a bodyguard who would stand with me at all times… If they provide alcohol then I want tequila," she added.
"Quite reasonable, really."
And the reaction from Celebrity Big Brother?
"The producer said it’s the most ridiculous rider they’d ever had. It has gone a bit quiet, I must admit."
Having learned who is being tipped to enter the Celebrity Big Brother house this summer, Sleb Safari understands Sinitta’s demands.
If you had to live with spirit botherer Derek Acorah and the Cheeky Girls you’d want a few ‘props’ to make life bearable, starting with a puppy under one arm and a bottle of tequila under the other.
You could always hide behind the bodyguard when aura explorer Derek gets too close.
Bobby Norris from Towie is another rumoured contestant. He’s told the production team that he won’t do the winter version, only the summer "cos you’ve got the garden and you can have a cheeky sunbathe".
"I can take my Marbella mermaid tail, can you imagine me just flipping around in the hot tub? Summer is the way forward."
Imagine the mayhem if Sinitta brings her palm leaf bikini and Boddy wears his side-saddle mankini.
Hard to believe but these two are going to top anything that’s happened on the show up to now and Sleb Safari is going to have to drop its self-imposed viewing ban.
Mariah Carey Floating Pon De Dead Sea
THE Elusive Chanteuse Mariah Carey loves to skip around the world with dembabies in tow and late June saw her stop off in Israel to promote a skincare range and have dinner with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
Ever conscious of keeping her Lambily updated with regular social posts, Mariah shared photographs of herself floating in the Dead Sea wearing, you guessed it, leopard print swimwear and a diamond necklace which is reportedly 33.95 carats of interlocking diamond circles known as the Olympia.
"Floating pon de Dead Sea," she captioned her photographs. Surely a moment the Dead Sea will never forget.
Kelly Brook is a secret gardener
AND so to Kent where we find former model Kelly Brook in muddy Wellies digging a border in the five acres of land that surround her rose-covered farmhouse home.
It turns out that Kelly is a keen gardener and has been transforming her rural hideaway into a horticulturist's dream. She showed The Times around her garden and admitted to being nervous about the big reveal.
"It’s OK being a sexy calendar girl, but you are only connecting at one level," she explained.
"I am actually revealing more than I did on the calendar."
Interesting logic, Kelly.
Kelly explained why she moved home from LA.
"I got so bored of not having any seasons, never seeing any change. It was like living in a car park — it was concrete everywhere."
And she admitted to a hankering to appear on Gardeners' World. Zexy.
"Most of my TV work is celebrity-orientated, but I watch and love things like Gardeners’ World. I would love to be on something that shows my passion for that."
Alesha Dixon got a job as a Strictly Come Dancing judge so there's every chance a spot could open up for Kelly on Gardeners' World.
Social Media Smut