Life

Have you considered becoming a foster carer?

Foster Care Fortnight, which runs from May 8-21 , is an annual campaign delivered by The Fostering Network to raise the profile of fostering and to show how foster care transforms lives. Here, foster carer Irene, and Daniel and Andrea, who have both experienced living with foster carers, share their experiences

Irene McCaughan has been a foster carer for Belfast Health and Social Care Trust for the past year – she and her husband foster a sister and brother, aged 11 and 12
Irene McCaughan has been a foster carer for Belfast Health and Social Care Trust for the past year – she and her husband foster a sister and brother, aged 11 and 12 Irene McCaughan has been a foster carer for Belfast Health and Social Care Trust for the past year – she and her husband foster a sister and brother, aged 11 and 12

IRENE McCAUGHAN

Together with her husband Ian, part-time teacher Irene McCaughan has been a foster carer for Belfast Health and Social Care Trust for the past year. With four grown children of their own, becoming foster carers was something Irene and Ian had always wanted to do. She fosters siblings Jenny (12) and Rob (11)*.

“We had thought about fostering for years. My husband used to attend an event every year where his exhibition would be beside the [Belfast trust] information stand. Each year we said that we would look into it. Eventually when our youngest started university we felt that the time was right.”

Irene experienced tragedy at age 15 when her 16-year-old sister, her only sibling, died in a car crash.

“I believe you have to live life to the full and for me that has meant helping others. I learned at a young age that life can be so short so you have to do as much as you can while you are on this Earth. Ian and I were both just open to the idea of ‘giving it a shot’ and although we initially talked about the idea of respite foster care we were open to possibilities.”

As it happened, Belfast trust was in particular need of long-term foster carers for children aged eight-plus and the couple were asked whether they would consider long-term fostering for brother and sister Jenny and Rob.

“I have always said two is easier than one,” says Irene. “Not only are they good company for one another but they are a vital support to each other.”

Belfast Health and Social Care Trust is particularly seeking foster carers for siblings
Belfast Health and Social Care Trust is particularly seeking foster carers for siblings Belfast Health and Social Care Trust is particularly seeking foster carers for siblings

An important part of the foster carer’s role is to facilitate regular contact with a child’s birth family. The children see their wider birth family, including their maternal grandmother, regularly and frequently.

“Jenny and Rob are able to offer to support to each other after these visits. I often think what would have happened if the children had been on their own with separate foster carers. I suppose my own childhood, where I was really like an only child after my sister’s death, was a personal experience to draw on. I’m so glad that the children live here together."

Asked about challenges which the couple has faced as foster carers, Irene has to think.

“I suppose we have drawn on our own parenting experiences. There are general challenges for any child as they approach the teenage years. We parented our own children through ‘normal rebellion’. We had the late-night worries when they were out with friends, learning to drive, pushing the boundaries as children do. All the usual stuff.

“But what really helps a foster carer is to be flexible, adaptable and patient. It is important to try to understand the background the children come from. It may not be the way I was brought up or brought up my own children, but I have to be open-minded to the children’s previous experiences and I find that helps us in our role as foster carers.”

DANIEL

Daniel McGuigan from north Belfast is 21 and first came to live with his foster carers Sam and Louise at age four. Two years ago he left Belfast for Edinburgh to begin studying for a masters degree in civil engineering at Napier University.

“I loved my primary school and have wonderful memories of it. Looking back, I know that the teachers were always a little bit delicate with me because of my home circumstances but in P4 I got up in front of my class and said ‘I’m fostered’. That was a huge relief to me. When I came home that evening and told my foster family we celebrated by going out for a special meal.”

Daniel went on to Hazelwood Integrated Secondary School and then Methodist College Belfast where he completed his A-levels.

“I was aged around nine at the time I overheard an adult saying: ‘Children in care will never succeed’. It was actually a wonderful incentive; the day I heard that I made up my mind that I wouldn’t be categorised. My foster carers have always been very encouraging as far as my education is concerned. But there was never any pressure on me and their two daughters hadn’t been to university.”

Although Daniel is very much looking forward to seeing the world, he says the thing he misses the most is family mealtimes.

“Dinner time is very treasured in my foster home. I miss dinner time around the table – good conversation and good food. I think I miss that the most. Foster carers are some of the bravest people you’ll ever meet – to take complete strangers into their home with open arms and a loving heart is so brave. But I know that the rewards are phenomenal.”

ANDREA*

“I have been living with my foster carers since I was two days old, because my mummy wasn’t well enough to look after me and my big sister. I enjoy living with them because they take care of me and buy me anything I ever need or want. My younger sister came here when she was seven months old, any my brother came when he was five months old. They both love living here too.

“I am very happy with my foster carers. They are very special to me, and I love them very much. I will always remember what they did for me and my siblings – giving up so much for my family, even their jobs, to take care of us. I don’t have much contact with my mother – the last time I saw her she was drinking and didn’t look very well. We’re close in our own way, but I wouldn’t want to go back.

“I get on brilliantly with my social workers – they’re so good to me and I see them loads. They help us get anything we need, and generally support us. I am getting driving and theory lessons, just like my sister did – which meant she could get the job she’s in – and I am so happy. I want to work with children.

“It doesn’t bother me that people know I’m fostered. I have a friend in the same position, and it’s just what we’re used to. I love it here, and fostering is definitely something I would try myself. My foster carers don’t believe in splitting up families, they always wanted us all to be together, and I’m so grateful for that.

"Fostering is brilliant for children, and I’d say to anyone thinking about it to just do it. It’s meant everything to us. Without my foster carers we’d probably have been split up. That’s just too awful to think about.”

(*Names changed.)

WOULD YOU CONSIDER FOSTERING?

This Foster Care Fortnight (May 8-21) Belfast HSC Trust is calling in particular for more foster carers to offer loving, stable and secure homes to children who are unable to live with their birth parents, in particular sibling groups.

2,212 children were living with foster families in the north on in March 2016; 86 per cent of fostering services have a particular need for foster carers for sibling groups.

200 new foster families are needed in Northern Ireland during the coming year to ensure that all children can be found the right foster home first time, according to fostering charity The Fostering Network. The need is particularly for families to offer homes to teenagers and sibling groups.

Individuals may apply to foster whether they are married / co habiting or single, own or rent their own home, work or are receiving benefits, or if they have children of their own or not. There is no upper age limit to who can foster as long as they are healthy and have the energy to care for a child or young person. Applications will also be considered irrespective race, religion, language, culture, gender, disability, age and sexual orientation.

If you are resilient, flexible and have the energy and time to care for the demands of a child, see www.adoptionandfostering.hscni.net or call 0800 0720 137 for more information on becoming a foster carer.