Life

Ladies and gentlemen, the 2016 Celebrity Awards

Maeve Connoly

Maeve Connolly

Maeve is the deputy digital editor at The Irish News. She has worked for the company since 2000.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt announced their separation in September
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt announced their separation in September Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt announced their separation in September

SLEB Safari would like to end the year on a high and walk you down the yellow brick road that was slebdom in 2016, casually distributing celebrity awards as we skip along.

Best tweet of 2016 Award

James Blunt is a funny fella and recently managed to deliver bad news in the best way possible.

We Did Not See That Coming Award

The Brangelina divorce took us all by surprise. When will Sleb Safari learn that just because someone says their life is perfect doesn't mean they're telling the truth?

The Could Not Give A Monkeys Award

Katie Price is the annual recipient of this coveted award. This year she wins it for having a horse dyed pink and turned into a unicorn to promote her new reality TV show. Katie also joined the Loose Women crew and shared umpteen things we never needed to know about her life.

Among the haul was news that her husband Kieran had had a full-length tattoo of her inked on his body.

Until shown otherwise Sleb Safari continues to live its life believing that it’s an actual full body tattoo and that from the front he’s Kieran Hayler and from the back he’s Katie Price.

Bizarre Celebrity Endorsement Award

Tori Spelling tested her acting chops by signing up as Psychic Source’s new “celebrity partner and spokesperson”. Girl gotta make rent.

Karaoke King Award

There could only be one winner here – James Corden and his Carpool Karaoke. He's had Michelle Obama, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Sia and Lin-Manuel Miranda in his car. It's genius and Sleb Safari loves it.

Best TV of 2016 Award

Sleb Safari's top three were The Missing, Line of Duty and The Night Manager. But really, The Missing. Julien Baptiste 4ever.

Now It Makes Sense Award

Jonathan Cheban, best friend of Kim Kardashian and Celebrity Big Brother contestant, announced this year that he was opening an elite academy for rich kids in New York. The address of this sensible sounding 'teaching' establishment? Trump Tower. Now it makes sense.

The Christmas Lights Switch On That Was Never Going To Happen Award

Remember when Kettering asked Lindsay Lohan to turn on its Christmas lights and she agreed, only to change her mind five months later? Kettering, you should have known better.

And They Lived Happily Ever After Award

Tracey Emin married a rock in March. Not thee Rock, but a rock. He's the strong, silent type and they're still together.

“Somewhere on a hill facing the sea, there is a very beautiful ancient stone, and it’s not going anywhere,” was how she introduced the special someone in her life.

"It's in my garden, it's very nice and very impressive and I like it a lot.”

Good enough Tracey, good enough.

All that remains is for Sleb Safari to wish everyone a happy Christmas and a happy and healthy new year.

Ryan Gosling's daughter is his number one fan

THREE cheers for Ryan Gosling's daughter and the moral support she offered him on the set of his new film Blade Runner 2049.

Ryan has been filming in Budapest alongside Harrison Ford and told GQ that his little girl was particularly vocal during an action scene.

“She was on set the other day and I was doing a fight scene with Harrison and she just yelled out in the middle of the take, ‘You're winning!’

"Well, first she said, ‘You're doing great,’ and then Harrison stopped in the middle of the take and said, ‘What about me?’”

Three cheers for little Esmeralda, her dad's biggest fan.

Mariah Carey festivates with Beyonce

Mariah Carey, everyone's favourite elusive chanteuse, is festivating like nobody's business.

Mariah comes alive at Christmas; she lives for Christmas, for hot tubs in Aspen, for wearing bikinis and heels in the snow.

She's been performing a series of shows in the run up to Christmas and a host of stars have come to see the elusive chanteuse perform. Beyonce was among those paying homage and Mariah Instagrammed a picture of them with their children plus a little girl whose identity is unknown but who clearly leads a charmed life. Blue Ivy Carter stole the show by posing with a giant red fan. Mariah will not allow that to happen again.

 

Backstage at Christmas time with our beautiful children. @beyonce #christmas #family #love

A photo posted by Mariah Carey (@mariahcarey) on

Andrew Lloyd Webber 'discovered' Rihanna

AND so to Andrew Lloyd Webber and his revelation that he had 'discovered' Rihanna and then hidden her again.

“I saw her singing karaoke in Sandy Lane hotel in Barbados 12 years ago,” he told Good Morning Britain.

“I turned to my friend and said, ‘She’s very good.’ I wondered if we brought her back, it might be like a picture you buy on holiday and then you get home and think, why did I buy that? I thought I might get her home and wonder what to do with her.”

ALW realises he's talking about a person doesn't he? Saying the words "I wondered if we brought her back" all sounds a little, well, colonial.

Social Media Watch

Diplo on Instagram

 

I feel like Nial's cool uncle

A photo posted by diplo (@diplo) on