Life

Ask Fiona: I keep cheating on my boyfriends... What's wrong with me?

Columnist and trained counsellor Fiona Caine offers her perspective on family dramas, emotional issues and dysfunctional relationships

I can't seem to be loyal to my boyfriends – there must be something wrong with me...
I can't seem to be loyal to my boyfriends – there must be something wrong with me... I can't seem to be loyal to my boyfriends – there must be something wrong with me...

I SEEM to have one disastrous relationship after another and I don't know what's wrong with me.

I keep going with other people's partners; I don't know why, but I really mess things up.

When I was 17, I went with my sister's boyfriend – even though I knew they were planning to get married, then, a year ago, I hada relationship with a friend's fiance.

He was staying the night at my place after he missed his train home.

Why I did it, I don't know, and I feel so guilty about it.

I know I'm going to be in trouble again soon because I'm babysitting for a friend when she goes to college twice a week.

Her husband runs me home and although it hasn't advanced any further, it feels like it's just a matter of time.

Why do I always end up in impossible relationships?

FS

FIONA SAYS: Is it perhaps because you can't imagine yourself deserving anything better?

If you didn't have such a low opinion of yourself perhaps you wouldn't keep falling for these, frankly lousy men, who, I think, are just using you.

You CAN take control of this situation you know and, as a first step, I think you should stop babysitting for your friend.

It may be hard for her to find anyone else so she can go to college, but her marriage is more important.

This should give her husband less opportunity to make advances and not put you in the position of having to resist.

That should help with the immediate issue, but I think you need to seek help about developing your own confidence and self-esteem.

Talk to your doctor or contact Relate (relate.org.uk) as they will help you to structure better relationships than you're having now.

If you have a problem you can email me, Fiona Caine, at help@askfiona.net