Life

Dads, you are all fantastic, wonderful and magnificent

Mums get all the press, good and bad, but dads tend to get left in the background, neglected, overlooked and unappreciated. Come on, people – let's give the poor guys a big shout-out, writes Leona O'Neill

Dads can give children the confidence to dream big and feel they can do anything in life
Dads can give children the confidence to dream big and feel they can do anything in life Dads can give children the confidence to dream big and feel they can do anything in life

AFTER last week's column on mums and their woes, a friend reminded me that fathers and the work they do seems to always be overlooked. He felt it seems to be a general consensus that dads seem to be just there, working away in the background and mums get a vast majority of the glory, the sympathy and the support. They also get the collective high five for doing a great job whereas dads, he felt, rarely get a mention unless they are being slated.

My dad was amazing. He most definitely shaped the person I am today. His guidance, encouragement and support throughout my childhood gave me the confidence to dream big and feel I could do anything in life. He gave me courage, knowing that whatever I did he'd be there to back me up. He taught me right from wrong, taught me compassion, empathy and that you have to fight for what is good. He was the biggest anchor I had in my life and I am eternally grateful for the 33 years he was able to be my father.

My husband is a brilliant dad. Because of him our kids are streetwise, strong and unafraid to face challenges. He has instilled a love of life and adventure in our kids, makes them feel they can achieve anything, makes them laugh, is always there with advice – sometimes completely mad, sometimes reasonably sensible – and has always got their back.

He works so hard to make O'Neill family life roll along nicely and the poor man never gets a minute's peace. Like me, he doesn't always get things right, but he tries his best – raising four kids and putting up with me is an extremely tough, thankless job – regardless of the challenge, and we all love him for it.

But I don't think we say it enough. Dad might get a pair of socks or a Homer Simpson mug on Father's Day to express our gratitude, but I believe we need to let our dads know with actual words how much we appreciate them every other day of the year.

When relationships break down, it is more often than not the mum who raises the kids. I know dads heartbroken over being separated from their kids for months, others who are destroyed by having to beg to see the children they have spent every day with until the breakdown of relationships.

Don't get me wrong, there are some dads, as there are mums, who are God awful parents and their children are better off without them. But most of us, both mums and dads, try our very best to care for these kids and raises good human beings.

Good dads are the unsung heroes. The dads who live for their kids, the dads who work to provide for their kids. The dads who stay at home and looks after the kids. The dads who get to see their kids once a week, the dads fighting to spend time with their kids, the dads raising someone else's kids as their own, the foster dads, the Kinship dads, the adoptive dads, the dads who try their very best every damn day. We need to appreciate them.

Good dads teach kids important lessons. They teach us about tough love. We mums care but dad is always there to tell it like it is: straight talking is what dads do.

Good dads teach us that we need to stand up for ourselves no matter what – whether that is on the playground, in the street, at work, in whatever situation life throws at us.

Good dads teach us things without sometimes realising it, lessons that stay with us forever. Lessons that will be passed down through generations to make the world a nicer place. They might not be the funnest of lessons at times, but we need them to survive in this crazy world.

Dads, you are so, so important. We might not say it enough, but we appreciate everything you do. Keep being amazing.