Big Brother is back and BBC's Andy West is in the house
IN JUST three words Sleb Safari is going to make you feel ancient – Big Brother 17.
Hard to believe that this most hideous of reality TV shows has turned 17. Sleb Safari remembers well the excitement of the first series where 10 strangers who had no idea what was ahead of them entered the Big Brother house. Remember Tom from Omagh, Anna from Dublin and Nasty Nick?
Those were the halcyon days before every wannabe in the land sold their granny and threw away their moral compass to get on the show.
There are 18 contestants this year. 18! That’s 10 too many. And there are two houses. Allow Sleb Safari to explain – 12 of the contestants have gone into the Big Brother house and the six Others are in a separate house and have to try and take a housemate’s place.
We have 10 weeks of this to look forward to. Buckle up.
Model Marco Pierre White Jr was the first try-hard to enter the house and he’s strangely like Shane from Boyzone.
Then there were identical twins who believe they’re aliens. At 30 years of age they should know better.
Former BBC NI reporter Andy West is in the mix too and he’s already said that if he doesn’t meet someone in the house capable of having an intelligent conversation he’ll struggle. Good luck Andy.
With him is Laura Carter who has been making a living out of, allegedly, having a fling with Justin Bieber which, if it were Sleb Safari, would be a secret it would take to the grave.
Also in the mix is Lateysha who says she’s “the Welsh version of Beyonce” so she couldn’t possibly disappoint us.
And then there’s a property developer called Jason who says: "I may look like a thug that sounds like Danny Dyer crossed with Frank Bruno but I've been told I'm actually just a big marshmallow with a pet Shitzu”.
In contrast Evelyn sounds like she could kick off any minute.
“I just have a really bad attitude when I don’t get my way.” Refreshing honesty.
There’s also an X Factor contestant dubbed a “horror of a human being” by Simon Cowell (and he’s worked with Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh) and a model called Jackson who endeared himself to the crowd on opening night by dressing as a bargain basement Johnny Depp.
Number whatever in the never ending list of contestants is four-time world kickboxing champion Andrew, along with a millionaire called Chelsea, former dominatrix Natalie and Irish Traveller Hughie who’s a youth worker.
There are also a lot of reality TV people that Sleb Safari had never heard of from shows it didn’t know existed, such as MTV’s Welsh reality show The Valleys, Taking New York and Judge Geordie.
So there you have it. Euro 2016 and Big Brother 17 – that’s your summer sorted.
Katie Price and the curious case of the implants
NEVER one to keep anything personal to herself, Katie Price has been sharing cryptic clues on her social media accounts about a trip to a cosmetic surgery clinic.
It would seem she’s had some sort of breast-related cosmetic surgery. There will most likely be a big reveal on Loose Women in the not too distant future. Note to self: be sure to book that day off work.
Katie got her implants removed last year and has been trying to sell them, suggesting that the buyer could collect her surplus silicone from her house and enjoy a meet and greet with the icon herself. It is unclear who bought them and indeed who would want them.
A super fan? A creep? The Hard Rock Café? Implants are not standard Hard Rock Café memorabilia, but who is Sleb Safari to say what can and what can’t be nailed to the wall of a global chain restaurant?
Benedict Cumberbatch’s biggest fan is a gorilla
BENEDICT Cumberbatch has a new admirer but his wife can rest easy with this one.
A western lowland gorilla has taken a shine to him – or to his voice at least.
Koko was raised by humans and it is claimed she can understand American Sign Language. Sleb Safari has to use the word ‘claim’ because there are those who dispute Koko’s abilities, but not Sleb Safari – it thinks Koko is ace.
Sleb Safari is a sucker for gorillas and orangutans. And chimpanzees. And giraffes. And elephants. You get the picture.
According to the makers of a BBC documentary (a documentary on what, Sleb Safari would like to know and can Sleb Safari get in on it because it sounds like a doozy) Koko already had a penchant for English accents and after watching DVDs showcasing Benedict’s acting chops developed a whopping crush on him.
Get in line Koko. You might have the novelty factor but your human competition will play dirty.
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