Russell Crowe is leaving stunts to the stuntmen from now on

Russell Crowe has a sit down to rest his achy body

WHEN last we called with Russell Crowe he was in the middle of an epic Twitter rant at Virgin Australia because airline staff wouldn’t allow his son to bring a hoverboard on to the aeroplane.

The time before that we caught up with him as he chucked a phone around in a New York hotel.

Sleb Safari also checked in with the actor around about the time he revealed, most unexpectedly, that he’d been the victim of prank calls from Michael Jackson.

“I never met him, never shook his hand, but he found out the name I stayed in hotels under, so it didn’t matter where I was, he’d ring up do this kind of thing, like you did when you were 10, you know. ‘Is Mr Wall there? Is Mrs Wall there? Are there any Walls there? Then what’s holding the roof up? Ha ha.’ You’re supposed to grow out of doing that, right?”

We revisit Russell today because he’s been speaking about the toll his craft has taken on his body.

“At this age you have to be a little careful” was how he explained his decision not to do so much stunt work.

“I've got this embarrassing thing where I've got one scar on my body that is from something other than a film set,” he told

“Every other scar is about being on a film set.”

And then he began to list his injuries.

“I've got no cartilage in my toes anymore; that's from doing a whole bunch of lateral stops.

“I've got grade-four tears in both Achilles tendons. I've got shin splints. I've got bone marrow edemas under both knees.” Matey, look out for Bear Grylls, he has a thing for bone marrow.

Russell continued: “I've got one disintegrating hip. I've got a rib in my upper thoracic that pops off my spine, which is a very pleasant morning if that ever happens. I've had two operations on my left shoulder.

“This stuff comes from committing to the job and giving myself over to the job,” he concluded.

Russell, mate, you want to take a leaf out of Winnie the Pooh’s book. To quote the bear himself: “People say nothing is impossible but I do nothing every day”.

And that, Russell, is why Pooh is in tip-top shape. Think about it. No-one expects to see a 52-year-old Gladiator tearing up the Colosseum. Chillax.


High Five Amy Schumer

THE Sassy Lady Award this week goes to Amy Schumer for her joyous response to trolls who posted hate-filled comments after she was photographed on a beach, in swimwear, on holidays.

Amy wrote on Instagram: “I hope you find some joy in your lives today in a human interaction and not just in writing unkind things to a stranger you've never met who triggers something in you that makes you feel powerless and alone.

“This is how I look. I feel happy. I think I look strong and healthy and also like miss Trunchbull from Matilda. Kisses!”

Anyone who references a Roald Dahl character is a-ok in Sleb Safari’s book. High five Amy Schumer.



Bear Grylls and the Curious Case of the Brussels Sprouts

BEAR Grylls, drinker of urine and friend of Barack Obama, has been indulging in some culinary chit chat.

“My mum was a terrible cook,” was his opening gambit.

“She would leave a pan of Brussels sprouts stewing for a whole afternoon.”

This from the man who once stumbled across the rotting carcass of a wild boar during SAS combat survival training and “got marrow out of the bones while on the run”. Yum.

Sleb Safari would take a helping of stewed Brussels sprouts over rotting boar’s bone marrow any day of the week.

Bear’s an enthusiastic character. Last summer he was talking about what gets him up in the morning and why we shouldn’t call it an alarm clock.

“Alarm to me says ‘emergency’ and that my life is in danger,” he mused.

“That’s a terrible way to start the day. I call it, instead, my ‘opportunity’ clock. Waking me up to give me the opportunity to get out there and grab life with both hands.”


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