Katie Price's husband gets a full-length tattoo of her
TATTOO news from everyone’s favourite eternal romantic Katie Price. Katie is a guest panellist on ITV show Loose Women and she’s worth her weight in gold.
Last week Katie talked about her tattoo collection and how she’s going to stop getting the names of fiances and husbands inked on to her skin.
“Kieran [her husband] has a go at me all the time for having a Leo tattoo. He's like, ‘When are you going to cover that up?’ I will but it's so painful,” she told the Loose Women audience.
“If you have it lasered off apparently it really hurts, so I'll have to cover it with something... I won't get names any more, I had Pete (on my wrist) and had to have it covered up with a rose.”
Very wise Katie, very wise. It’s perfectly acceptable to collect husbands but it’s much easier to erase them from your life than it is a tattoo.
Katie told the Loose Women panel that she has several tattoos in a location that shall remain a mystery before the watershed. Why anyone would want to is also a mystery but who is Sleb Safari to question the inking habits of others.
The Pricey’s latest tattoo tale involves her husband, Kieran Hayler, and the “huge” full length inking of her he got tattooed on his body earlier this month.
"It's absolutely huge, you'll find out soon. I was shocked. A whole picture of me, full length. I thought he was joking when he said it. It's huge!"
Sleb Safari will remain optimistic, until told otherwise, that it’s an actual full body tattoo and that from the front he’s Kieran Hayler and from the back he’s Katie Price.
Bonus marks if the tattoo artist managed to depict Katie in the pantomime horse outfit she wore to launch her equestrian range a couple of years ago.
Now that would be body art.
Kieran went to a celebrity tattoo artist in Liverpool to get it done but Katie hasn’t seen the masterpiece yet “because it's at the healing stage”.
Another wise move Katie. A scabby, inky portrait that’s been punched into someone’s skin with a needle is a harsh mirror. Save yourself the heartache and wait until it’s healed and then do us all a favour and post a photo on social media. Sleb Safari will not be able to eat, sleep or think until it sees this artwork in all its inky glory.
Cheryl and Liam: The Chipmunks
AND so to Simon Cowell, whose two great loves are chest hair and himself, who has been talking about the new relationship between X Factor judge Cheryl Fernandez-Versini and One Direction’s Liam Payne.
This dalliance has taken sleb smuthounds by surprise, mainly because most people thought Cheryl and Mr Fernandez-Versini were at breaking point rather than already broken.
There has been a right hoo-haa about the fact Cheryl was 24 and Liam 14 when they first met on The X Factor but that was eight years ago so it sounds like a storm in a Daily Mail tea cup to Sleb Safari.
Simon has given the new couple his all-important blessing after going for dinner with them recently. When you think about it, it was Simon who brought them together so for that, and all those Instagram photos they keep sharing, we are grateful.
“They’re like two little chipmunks madly in love,” was how Simon described them.
What does that mean Simon? Did they pack food into their cheeks the whole way through dinner and leave the restaurant looking like they’d had an allergic reaction to the shellfish? Sleb Safari awaits clarification.
Dr Dot And The Massage That Bites
AH Hollywood, home of a tribe so terrified of aging that they’ll do anything, ANYTHING, to stop the clock.
The newest craze – after letting bees sting you (hat tip Gwyneth Paltrow) is the biting massage and it’s about as barmy as councils charging people to take part in Parkruns.
LA masseuse Dr Dot is pioneering this new ‘treatment’ and says it’s like cupping, but better because “I bite”.
By biting Dr Dot is “… pulling the muscle up and then releasing it”. Sleb Safari can but hope Dr Dot’s clients are up to date with their tetanus shot.
Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood is a fan of the biting massage, according to the doctor with a small d.
“He’ll hold a cigarette in one hand, play CDs on the stereo with the other, and call people on his phone while sipping wine.”
A cigarette in one hand, glass of wine in the other, Mick Jagger on speakerphone and a woman biting his calf muscle? Sleb Safari would love to see that.
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