Life

Tracey Egan tells new mums of twins: It Gets Easier

Dublin mum Tracey Egan reflects on bringing up her twins in a new book which aims to reassure parents that the sleepless nights and endless merry-go-round of nappy changes do stop and life with twins gets easier. Jenny Lee gets some valuable advice for those expecting twins

It Gets Easier author Tracey Egan with her now five-year-old twins Ben and Emily
It Gets Easier author Tracey Egan with her now five-year-old twins Ben and Emily It Gets Easier author Tracey Egan with her now five-year-old twins Ben and Emily

SWALLOWING her pride and asking for help, getting outside for a stroll with the buggy, resting when you get the chance and buying an extra kettle. These are some of the valuable lessons Dubliner Tracey Egan has learned through her experience as a mum of twins.

Like most parents who are told during their 12-week scan they are expecting more than one baby, the former accountant admits she felt shocked and scared.

"There were no twins in the family; it was a complete and utter shock. I was glad I was lying down."

After going home and Googling double buggies, Tracey spent the rest of the weekend "alternating between panicking and laughing hysterically".

After giving birth to Emily (5lb 12oz) and Ben (6lb 13oz) at 38 weeks, she felt "over the moon and overwhelmed in equal measure" and admits she struggled with sleep deprivation during the first two months.

Throughout her pregnancy and during the early months as a new mum, Tracey felt she needed more guidance on caring for twins.

"I was given lots of books, but they were geared for just one baby at a time."

It was nearing the end of the twins' first year, during their nap time, when she had the idea of writing a book to guide and reassure first-time parents of twins.

In her new book - It Gets Easier: Surviving Twins During Their First Year - Tracey details everything you need to know about having twins. From shopping for the babies and recovering from a Caesarean section, through to understanding your babies' cries, routines, weaning recipes and everything in between.

Tracey describes caring for twins as going on "the steepest learning curve imaginable"; she quickly learnt the value of being organised and asking for, and accepting, help.

"I'm very independent and it goes against human instinct to ask for help – they are your babies and you feel like you should be able to manage them yourself. But there are times you can't physically do it all on your own. You just have to bite the bullet, swallow your pride, and accept help."

While Tracey was grateful for an extra pair of hands during the late afternoons when she was tired and the babies were often unsettled, help can come in many forms – providing freezer meals, doing the grocery shopping and loading the washing machine, to take just a few examples.

It may sound like a cliché but Tracey stresses the importance of resting when the babies are napping.

"If you can get both babies napping at the same time it's too tempting to say you will stick on a wash or sterilise the bottles. There are a million jobs to do but you just need to take the time to yourself, even if it's simply sitting down and closing your eyes or having a cuppa."

With up to 20 nappies a day to change and endless milk feeds, Tracey also found getting out of the house was great for lifting spirits and renewing energy levels.

"It can be hard to get everyone organised to get out, but even a short walk is so beneficial."

Tracey and her husband even took the brave step of enjoying a mini-break away in a baby-friendly hotel when the twins were just four months old.

"Parenting was still very new and I wasn't very confident as a mother. Getting away was the best thing we could have done. We still managed to feed the kids and get a couple of hours sleep here and there and surviving with twins in a new environment gave my confidence a huge boost," she says.

Despite being so little, babies need a huge amount of equipment. Among the baths, chairs, cots and high chairs, Tracey picks out an extra kettle as her most useful purchase.

"The kettle was the best thing ever because our twins were bottle fed. I would get everything organised and then if someone came in to help, the first thing they would do is put the kettle on for a cuppa. So we used the second kettle exclusively for making up bottles."

As the title of her book suggests, Tracey, whose twins are now five, emphasises "it definitely gets easier" with time. "Once they get onto solid foods it's fantastic. You feed them at the same time, then they play and they have each other to crawl about after.

Her overall tip when you find out you're expecting twins is simply to "enjoy it and don't panic, because having twins is fantastic. Then rest".

It Gets Easier by Tracey Egan is published by Souvenir Press and is available now