I AM being alienated from our children by my ex-husband and his wife.
Now they, both girls, ages 9 and 12 don't want to talk to me or comply with visitation on my weekends as set in court.
And to make things worse, I lost myself in front of the children and slapped the woman when they denied my visitation day (again) when I went to pick up the kids.
I am desperate to have a relationship with my kids and need your insight on this matter.
This had been going on for three years already, but since the girls went to live with him a year ago, matters got much, much worse.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I appreciate any help or insight. Thank you so much.
SS
FIONA SAYS: I am so sorry to hear you are having problems in establishing a relationship with your children.
I cannot help but wonder, though, why they are no longer living with you.
You are angry – and while you have every right to be, this may, perhaps, be part of the problem.
You are assuming your ex and his wife are deliberately making it difficult for you to see the children, but have you considered that they may not want to see you?
If the girls are afraid of you, they may be reluctant to come and visit.
To lose your temper in front of them so badly that you slapped your ex's new wife isn't going to make them any more comfortable with you.
Could you consider talking to your GP about an anger-management course?
On the other hand, if you truly believe your ex is deliberately blocking access, then go back to the court and complain.
They will, however, put the needs of your girls foremost, so, if they don't want to see you, the courts will not force them to do so.
Meanwhile, write to your girls regularly and let them know how much you care about them and, if possible, talk to them on the phone regularly as well.
If you have a problem you can email me, Fiona Caine, at help@askfiona.net
