Fifty Shades style book could get Simon Cowell TV treatment
GOOD news Fifty Shades fans: Simon Cowell is reportedly considering a TV adaptation of an even steamier book.
Behind the Mask is a memoir from Emma Sayle who founded the Killing Kittens sex parties.
A quick Google has revealed that these parties are for the world’s sexual elite (definition unavailable) and there’s one in London next Friday with tickets still available – £30 for single ladies and £120 for couples.
Top tip for couples: each buy a single person’s ticket and you’ll save a clean fortune.
Sleb Safari is not speaking from experience, it is simply wearing its journalistic consumer affairs hat.
The party starts at 8.30pm so you could be home and tucked up in bed with a hot chocolate by 11pm.
Call Sleb Safari a prude if you must, but it’s never been to a sex party let alone an elite sex party – so it might be wildly off the mark with its guesstimations.
If anyone who is more au fait with the scene cares to get in touch, that would be very helpful indeed.
According to a ‘source’ who ‘spoke’ to the Sun newspaper, Simon thinks Behind The Mask could be even better than X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent combined.
Wouldn’t be hard, now would it?
“Someone brought the book to his attention and he immediately saw pound signs,” the source said.
“Fifty Shades of Grey made hundreds of millions when it was turned into a film and Behind The Mask has all the right ingredients to be a huge hit.
“It’s incredibly raunchy in parts, so it would have to be aimed at the right audience, but it could be turned into a brilliant, glossy TV series.”
According to the blurb, the book details “a world where women make – and break – the rules.
"An underground club notorious for parties wilder than 50 Shades of Grey; a place where, behind elegant masks, your innermost desires can be unleashed…”
Digital Spy calls it a “must-have holiday read” so Sleb Safari’s going to splash out and buy all its friends a copy ahead of their summer vacay.
That way they’ll be bang up to date with the action and ready for the “brilliant, glossy TV series”.
Sleb Safari just hopes Simon Cowell isn’t planning to screen it in the Saturday night light entertainment slot that lie empty from Christmas until the X Factor starts again in the summer.
Tablescapes are going to be big in 2016
THE year is still in its infancy but already Sleb Safari can foresee glorious things happening.
There’s the new Bridget Jones film for a start. And Drake has to follow up Hotline Bling. Who knows what colour his next polo neck will be.
Sleb Safari is hoping to hear more from India Hicks who creates tablescapes for the rich and famous.
Sleb Safari knows you know exactly what a tablescape is, but just to recap, in the words of Hello! Magazine they are “eclectic groups of objects clustered together – on a table”.
“The fun of a tablescape is that it is ever-changing,” India explains helpfully.
“You move things around. I never want to feel precious about it. Once it’s done, it’s not done – it can change.”
By that definition Sleb Safari is incredibly non-precious about its tablescape because on any given day its kitchen table tablescape is made up of whatever its husband has emptied from his pockets plus the flotsam and jetsam of daily life.
Sleb Safari looks forward to hearing what other untidy areas of its home are masquerading as art.
Tom Daley's super frying pan
IT’S not often that cute as a button Olympic diver Tom Daley makes an appearance in this column. In fact, the first and last time was the joyous occasion of his engagement to Duncan Lance Black.
This time, however, Sleb Safari had to bring him to your attention due to his use of the craziest looking frying pan Sleb Safari has ever seen.
Look at it, it’s got five sections. Count them.
One for beans, one for eggs, one for bacon, one for sausages and one for more bacon.
Sleb Safari wants to know where it can get one and who would like to sample the first fry.
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