Life

Lighten up: Parenting resolutions for 2016

Parenting is difficult, especially if you're doing it right, which is why Leona O'Neill has decided to make some changes for 2016 – and why 'must try harder' is most definitely not on her list

Steve Martin gets tied up in knots as 'Cowboy Dan' in the 1989 movie Parenthood
Steve Martin gets tied up in knots as 'Cowboy Dan' in the 1989 movie Parenthood Steve Martin gets tied up in knots as 'Cowboy Dan' in the 1989 movie Parenthood

IN 2001 BC (as in before children) New Year's Eve was normally spent in one of Belfast's finest drinking emporiums. A glass of beautiful alcohol would be in hand and in our heads would be notions such as eight hours sleep was a thing residents of old folks homes sought. New Year’s Day would be spent sleeping and lounging and nursing a hangover in perfect peace.

But then kids came along and no amount of drinking and sinning was worth being woken the morning after the night before by a five-year-old demanding a baked bean sandwich for breakfast while repeatedly asking who'd win a fight between a dolphin and a horse as his three-year-old brother incessantly beats every available surface with a wooden spoon.

So, as a mother of four children, I'm not ashamed to say that I was in my night attire by 10pm on New Year's Eve. I had a cup of tea in my hand and a smile on my face. I was smugly looking forward to waking up sans big sore head and a phone full of drunken, blurry selfies taken in dark pubs. I was looking forward to going to the ATM and not wailing and crying and shaking my fist at the Heavens and shouting ‘WHY?’ when I saw my balance. I’ve been that soldier. It’s not much fun.

But the new year isn't all about drinking and celebrating and crying when you see your bank balance. There's no better time than the turning of the year to take stock of what has worked and what hasn't in Parentsville and plan ahead for the next 12 months.

Here's a small, simple list of parenting resolutions that I intend to take on this year. You’ll see that there are no ‘must try harder’ resolutions. That’s because we’re all doing our best in the worst of times, and quite frankly that’s more than enough.

Stop being so serious

You don't need to be so damn serious and grown up all the time. God knows life is hard going at times. If you get the chance to be a kid again, grab it with both hands. Next time you're in the park with the kids, get on the swing and see how high you can go. And you know you have wanted a go on that big slide since you started bringing your kid to the park. Just do it!

And what's the point in having kids if you can't play with Star Wars figures or run up and down the aisles of the toy shop with the Lego Millennium Falcon while making the shooting noises or race cars on their game consoles? None, that's what. Just do it!

Take care of yourself

Being knackered all the time makes it very tough to care for your family. You can't run a house on sleep fumes. To some parents being able to go to the bathroom by yourself for four minutes feels like a day at the spa.

Get up a half hour early and grab a cup of coffee in perfect peace. Take a walk. Take some time out for yourself. Go for a coffee. Lean on people; accept help. You don’t have to be superwoman/man 24-hours a day. Give yourself a break. You deserve it and will feel better for it.

Peace, presence and positive vibes

The world is a chaotic and noisy place. Try and make your home a haven of peace and quiet so that when you close your front door you and your kids leave all that madness outside. Let love and positivity rule in your house.

Switch off and step away from the digital devices for a time every day. Social media is all-consuming. When you're absorbed in these worlds, real life is happening right under your nose. Don’t miss out.

Keep going, you're amazing

Parenting is hard, especially if you're doing it right. It would be a lot easier if you didn't care so much, try so hard and love so fiercely. In any day you can have laughter, shouting and tears, hurt feelings, fighting, hugs, advanced hilarity and slamming doors. It's not for the faint hearted. You need to be made of very strong stuff to get through the day. If you're reading this, please know you are doing a great job. You care, you keep going, you are trying your best. You are amazing.